Do I inform her that the accidents are worse than they know? That the nerve injury alone can preserve me from what I spent my complete life coaching for? No. She’s my mother. She doesn’t care about my profession or a silly legacy. She solely cares about me.

I don’t.

I must do higher than my father. I would like to go away one thing of worth to deal with my son. I’ll give Cullen the one factor I can and what I by no means had from a father determine. Safety.

“I’ll discuss to her.”

“I’m not forcing you to do one thing you don’t need. In the event you’ve modified your thoughts about relationship her—”

“Cease, Mother.” Dropping my head, I let it cling and shut my eyes. Once I lookup, she’s not fazed. I’m a moody fucking bastard. She’s in all probability used to it. That also doesn’t make my conduct okay. I sit again on the lounger and switch my gaze to the sky. Selecting a extra palatable tone to alleviate any indicators of an argument that I don’t need to have proper now, I say, “I’ll discuss to her.”

She glances towards the glass door. “My tea is prepared. Do you want something?”

“No.”

After the door slides closed, I take into consideration Marina and her fixed effort. However I see it in her eyes, that query suspended in her pupils and the space her mild blues journey to delve into my inexperienced waters. If I let her stare too lengthy, she’ll see by way of me and know one thing is improper.

That’s the issue, proper? Scrubbing my fingers over my face, I launch a heavy breath of stress, although it returns to my chest simply as quick because it left.

Like her brother’s loved reminding me, she’s an proprietor of the staff. One phrase . . . one slip of concern from her to any of them, and my profession could possibly be over.

So is that this the selection?

My son and the safety I might give him for the remainder of his life or my soulmate?

Fuck. I shake my head to get out of the tailspin. I don’t must invent situations that aren’t in play. I don’t must premeditate a response. I’m high quality. We’ll all be high quality. I’ll be again in my seat on the grid subsequent Saturday.

“Do you need to be alone?” I look as much as discover Marina standing together with her again pressed to the door as if she’s scared to be left alone with me. I’m a fucker for inflicting her misery. She says, “I do know you will have quite a bit in your thoughts.” She angles to go away with out giving me an opportunity to persuade her in any other case.

“Keep.” My coronary heart’s response.

She turns again to ask, “Are you certain?”

Am I certain?

Fuck. I’ve achieved that to her. I’ve made her small on this large world like her ex did. My ache is one factor, however I hate myself for inflicting her any. “I need you to remain, babe. Come sit by me.”

Marina’s hair is knotted in an elastic on her head, her face free from make-up, and darkish circles induced by stressed nights, which I’m certain I’ve brought about her. A well-recognized T-shirt that I’ve been lacking is draped over her small shoulders together with her denims.

She’s fucking attractive.

I don’t deserve her magnificence or her coronary heart. I’ll steal her soul, although, as a result of there’s no current for me with out it anymore.

Coming to sit down on the within of the opposite lounge chair, she retains her ft on the bottom. “What can I get you? Are you hungry or want water?”

“I don’t want you to dote on me. I’ve my mom already doing an excessive amount of.”

Her sympathetic smile isn’t reassuring. “We’re simply making an attempt to assist.”

“I don’t need assistance. I don’t want anybody to deal with me. I can do it myself. I’ve achieved it my total fucking life.”

Getting up once more, she strikes to the desk and stands on the opposite aspect. “Why are you yelling at me, Money?”

“I’m not yelling.”

She touches her fingertips to her chest, barely leaning ahead. “Okay, why are you elevating your voice at me?”

“I’m drained, Marina. I’m uninterested in sitting right here ‘therapeutic,’” I say, tossing air quotes in there for some silly purpose. “I’m uninterested in physician’s orders to relaxation and get some sleep. I’m uninterested in being handled like a—”

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