SHIZU

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Shizu absently blinked on the darkish waters glinting past the window of her room as all the pieces that had occurred prior to now day ran by means of her thoughts like flour going by means of a sieve. From that incomplete weapon of mass destruction, all the way in which to the occasions main as much as their inevitable escape from the wrath of a complete Nice Nation, these occasions etched themselves into her thoughts, her political coaching shortly kicking in simply to see what she may be taught from this catastrophe. And whereas there was a large number of choices she most likely may’ve taken to keep away from this, there was nonetheless one obtrusive statement that disturbed her to no finish…

She did not suppose she had it in her to be so… violent, however apparently, she did not even care how many individuals she killed as long as it was all within the identify of her beloved Empire.

“Am I… Am I monster?”

The princess took a shaky breath as she raised her fingers. Even now, she may simply think about them being so bloodied that her pale complexion would barely peek by means of all of the pink. She had killed earlier than, positive, however these have been merely fringe circumstances that necessitated that she take motion. She was both defending herself and her mates from being killed, or the one means out of the state of affairs was by means of drive. And even then she by no means actually used an excessive amount of energy. Or not less than, she thought she did.

Letting out one other sigh, Shizu shook her head and let her physique sink again down onto her mattress. It had been a really lengthy day, and whereas she managed to take a little bit of a nap in the course of the battlefield, it was no substitute for correct sleep… sleep that had eluded her even after she tried to remain nonetheless for over an hour now.

“Ugh… Why is that this so exhausting…”

It was a query that had plagued her thoughts not just for the state of her unrest, but in addition for her ever-changing conduct that she solely now acknowledged. The sector of our bodies that greeted her as soon as she got here to wasn’t a nice sight in any respect. In spite of everything of her nerves bled away from her physique, so too did her lust for battle fade. As a substitute, it was as soon as extra changed with the acquainted feeling of disgust and hatred for violence that she had cultivated ever since she was a younger woman.

Then once more, it was solely her physique that had really grown up.

Shizu let loose one other sigh as she curled up into her mattress. Her earlier ideas of even coming as much as her Gods’ beds had utterly gone away in favor of her ruminating relating to the present state of affairs. It was all so… sudden. She did not count on to trigger a large diplomatic incident simply by attempting to analyze Marquee. Pricey Gods… What would Father say as soon as phrase got here to him in regards to the Empire’s supposed terrorist assault on the very coronary heart of the Marquean capital itself?

Certainly, such information would throw your entire courtroom into chaos.

All of this fear, on high of the anxiousness and worry of the fallout of their actions, made Shizu’s compelled relaxation a fitful one as she sobbed onto her pillow. As the long run sovereign, she knew full effectively that her actions had penalties, and her obvious slaughter of a whole bunch of Marquean troopers would positively put her on a notoriety checklist someplace. By the point they’ve most likely arrived at their subsequent vacation spot, her face would most likely be recognized and needed by Marquean society for all of the fallacious causes.

“My dream… How am I going to attain them if I am like this?”

She did her finest to not scream, lest she alert the others of her present misery. She knew that everyone was coping with their very own issues proper now, and she or he did not wish to impose greater than she had already carried out by even suggesting that they go to Marquee within the first place. To not point out what she inadvertently did again within the Island Sanctuary… Why?

Why was she someway always placing everybody in peril due to her actions?

Shizu gripped her bedsheets as she did her finest to not cry out loud. Her personal failures had been piling up, and together with her slowly shifting conduct, it was no marvel then that her dream of attaining peace all through the Shallow Deep was doomed to failure. That was except she adjusted her objectives to that of imposing peace by any means essential, and at that time, what made her totally different from the remainder of their enemies was that she was preventing for the Empire.

She had misplaced her ethical excessive floor, rendering her as merely yet one more soldier within the grand scheme between the three Nice Nations.

“I can not… I can not go on like this… I’ve to alter…”

Nonetheless, regardless of the heaping quantities of disgrace and self-disgust increase inside her, her personal nature refused to let her hand over. Now that she knew that she was changing into extra violent, she would merely must catch herself earlier than she did any extra injury. Her personal plan of launching an investigation on behalf of the Empire itself had landed them in such a precarious state of affairs, which meant that she had no enterprise hatching any extra plans of her personal till she discovered her classes.

So as an alternative, why not simply absolutely belief her Gods to do the pondering for her?

Sure… She had already absolutely deliberate to supply herself to them full-time simply to point out her gratitude to them. Why not go a step additional and entrust her goals to them as effectively? Certainly, they’d know finest. Actually, Woman Steerage most likely knew all the pieces that was about to occur much more vividly than she did, and that was even after they’d modified issues sufficient that the long run imaginative and prescient she as soon as received was virtually ineffective!

Slowly, Shizu regained her confidence, her personal failures pushing her extra in direction of her religion as she discovered herself praying for his or her steering. Positive, she may all the time simply discuss to them, however praying to them felt extra respectful someway. Even when she type of already knew that they would not hear her ideas and prayers, she nonetheless had a sense that it will affect her personal well-being.

“Oh Gods of the Shallow Deep, please forgive me for my sins…”

With every phrase, the princess felt power and willpower returning to her. Rolling away from bed, she kneeled in direction of the open window going through the black seas of the Deep. The [Stars] twinkled from excessive above, their patterns seemingly shifting as if to point out her their divine message.

“Grant me the power to maneuver ahead… And assist me discover a strategy to finish all this bloodshed…”

Her breath hitched as she felt a shiver run by means of her backbone. Her coronary heart raced. Have been they honestly listening?

“Please… assist me see the error in my methods… Assist me appropriate these horrible tendencies of mine…”

Taking one other deep breath, Shizu reverently pleaded and prayed regardless of realizing that her Gods have been solely however a couple of footsteps away. Positive, they most likely could not hear her like this, however she nonetheless could not assist however suppose that they’d heard her prayers regardless.

Then once more, they all the time appeared to have a means of realizing issues anyway.

“When you’re each listening to this… Please… I entrust to you each my hopes and goals… My ideas… my prayers…”

Shizu cried regardless of herself, her tears beginning to stream as she felt her Gods’ divine blessings wash over her. Was Woman Steerage really listening then? Was Moriya secretly already hatching a plot to proper each fallacious that she had simply carried out?

“You… You each actually care about me…”

She sobbed as she introduced her fingers collectively in silent reverie. The sheer blessings she was receiving have been making her physique shiver with pleasure. There was no means that she would not try to make it as much as them now. She needed to repay them for the kindness she simply acquired. For the absolution that that they had simply granted her!

Standing up, she rubbed away the tears in her eyes and ready to supply herself to them instantly. Smoothing over her haphazard state of undress, Shizu made positive that she could be as presentable as she may simply in order that she could be worthy of standing beside her valuable Gods.

“Proper! I’ve to be prepared!”

Her resolve renewed, Shizu ready herself to make use of her [Code Watcher] to see simply the place her valuable Gods have been, just for her to shortly shake her head in rejection to her personal actions. Someway, she felt like utilizing her energy to search out them would not be applicable for what she was about to do. If she needed them to bless her physique, then she must discover them the old style means.

With a radiant smile on her face, the princess strode out of her room earlier than working her means one after the other by means of the quite a few rooms on the [Rig]. She would earn her proper to face proper alongside them. They might not see her as an equal, however she would not less than attempt to be their most favored servant.

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