‘The bags under your eyes, babes,’ she says. ‘I know what’s going on. You want to bang twenty-four seven, yes? But you have kids and jobs and other responsibilities because you are both boring thirty-somethings, right?’

I balk at this.

‘So Adam and I are giving you the gift of time.’

‘The gift of time?’ I scoff. Poppy is so dramatic.

‘Auntie Poppy and Uncle Adam to the rescue! We’ll housesit and look after Lila and Sid at yours while you two can hole up at Joe’s, bang ’til your heart’s content and get some sleep as well. Sort those bags out.’

I look back at their bikes and spot the rucksacks strapped to them.

‘What, tonight?’

‘All weekend, baby! Lila and I are hosting an end-of-school weekender at yours with her good pal Sidney.’

I look at Joe. He bites his lip. I try to drag my eyes away from his mouth.

‘Are you sure? A whole weekend is a long time to look after two five-year-olds,’ I say, admittedly quite feeble in my protestations, because in my mind I’m already there, between the sheets with Joe and it will be difficult to pull back now.

‘Sure.’

Joe’s already standing up. He holds out a hand and pulls me up too. We say our goodbyes to the kids, who are beyond excited at the prospect of a weekend with Cool Auntie Poppy, and explain to the mums that we’re heading off.

‘It is sickening that you two seem more loved up now than five months ago,’ says Frankie. ‘Sickening. Shouldn’t you be arguing over who’s turn it is to take the bins out by now?’

‘When I ask Richard to tidy up, he just puts things in piles,’ Mel sighs.

Tally nods in understanding. ‘Jude puts empty milk cartons back into the fridge like an animal.’

‘Nish goes out with his mates every time I’m cooking a fish pie for dinner. I can’t for the life of me think why,’ Olivia observes.

‘Douglas insists on me calling him Prime Minister during foreplay,’ Celeste chips in cheerily.

Startled by this latest revelation, I look anywhere but at Frankie because I know exactly how she’ll be reacting.

‘On that note … Bye, guys!’ I call.

Joe grabs my hand and we walk through the park, the sun warming our skin as we head all the way back to his house for a blissful and very much uninterrupted weekend.

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