After Miyagi — 208

Translated by KaiesV

Edited by KaiesV

I take off my garments and replicate my physique within the mirror within the altering room.

I believed yesterday and this morning, nevertheless it’s actually unhealthy.

Within the mirror, I’m coated with numerous marks left by Miyagi. The marks are solely in locations that may be hidden by clothes, so the possibility of anybody seeing them is infinitesimally small, however I sigh once I consider an accident or sickness that might require a visit to the hospital.

I actually ought to have stopped Miyagi earlier.

When she advised me to verify the mark.

Once I advised her to show my garments over correctly.

When she pushed me down.

I had many possibilities to cease Miyagi. However I couldn’t cease her and allowed her so as to add new marks on my physique.

Under the collarbone, I stroke the mark that was placed on me yesterday.

Miyagi is aware of that I’ll do what she says it doesn’t matter what I say.

That’s the reason she will make such a mark.

As soon as, twice, thrice.

Within the mirror, my fingertips hint the marks made by Miyagi. Simply by touching among the numerous marks, I really feel Miyagi, who just isn’t right here, and my physique heats up. At present, the traces which have elevated in quantity strengthen the will for Miyagi.

They’re all mine.

Due to the unusual issues Miyagi mentioned to me yesterday, my physique reacts unusually to the marks on me.

I ought to have mentioned earlier that I wouldn’t be working part-time or going to varsity.

I consider that, and shut my eyes tightly.

Ultimately, I couldn’t contact Miyagi any extra.

It was the proper factor to do, and I believe Miyagi would’ve wished that.

I didn’t do something mistaken.

And but I remorse it.

I slowly open my eyes and contact my lips to Miyagi’s chunk.

There is no such thing as a blood on my fingertips, nevertheless it nonetheless hurts.

Miyagi is an fool.

Sporting a hickey so to’t see it’s meaningless you probably have a noticeable scar in your lips.

Nonetheless, the injuries are simple to acknowledge.

It hurts, it bleeds, and you understand instantly that this can be a wound and that it’s one thing that should heal. However the marks on the physique are totally different. The blood-like pink within the mirror resembles a wound, but it’s not a wound, nor does it appear like an damage. What was simply an inside hemorrhage simply because Miyagi put it on turned one thing particular to me, changing into acquainted to my physique and absorbing Miyagi.

Even when it disappears, I’m positive it can stay with me endlessly, making me need the following hint.

The marks made by Miyagi are such marks and I wouldn’t need to heal them like scars. Quite the opposite, I need extra marks and I need them to be seen. I need new marks greater than she desires to maintain including to her marks right this moment.

Due to the marks made by Miyagi, my coronary heart aches as if I’m attempting to comply with cause and I’m attempting to flee from cause, and I’m attempting to separate the 2.

I, who needs to be locked up in my thoughts, need to throw away my school and part-time job and select to remain by Miyagi’s facet.

「That is loopy.」

I mutter quietly and enter the lavatory.

I get some heat water from the bathe and run it over the marks on my physique to clean them away, scrubbing them arduous although they may by no means go away.

I don’t thoughts being marked like this, and I don’t thoughts Miyagi taking a look at my physique. But when this retains occurring, I received’t be capable to cease myself from attempting to separate within the close to future.

I want I had the ability to show the unimaginable into potential.

I need to fulfill Miyagi’s needs as a lot as I can, however I can’t fulfill the hopes I heard right this moment. She in all probability is aware of this, nevertheless it’s an unrealistic hope to say,「Keep right here and don’t work part-time or go to varsity.」

I can provide Miyagi all my time for 2 or three days, however I can’t preserve giving it to her. If I continues to take break day from school, my assist from house will probably be reduce off, and if that occurs I must work to take care of my present life-style. If I begin working to make a dwelling, I received’t be capable to keep house any longer than I’m now.

I wish to do what Miyagi says, and if that makes her completely happy, then so be it.

It doesn’t matter what I need.

I consider that, however I don’t have the ability to vary the unimaginable into potential.

I may give her as a lot as I need if it had been simply my emotions.

My coronary heart is so stuffed with emotions for Miyagi that I virtually say I don’t want Miyagi. I don’t know when it bought so large, however the swollen feeling desires to get out of me, once I ought to need to keep the established order. However I can’t inform her that I like her.

I flip up the new water within the bathe.

The water, as heat as my physique temperature, soaks a number of marks and goes down the drain. I couldn’t assist however want that what warmed me up midway by was the warmth from the palace, so I turned off the bathe.

Nonetheless be roommates.

Emotions I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned, Miyagi’s phrases turned a curse, and they’re holding my mouth tighter.

And the sentiments for Miyagi, which have grown too deep, have gotten one thing I shouldn’t say it doesn’t matter what, even with out the chains of being roommates inside me.

It’s because I’m afraid that if I inform her I like her, I’ll break not solely our relationship as roommates, but in addition Miyagi.

These days Miyagi has been chatty and infrequently says issues that I can solely assume she likes me. I method Miyagi, feeling as if I’m allowed to assume that I like her as a result of she expresses my emotions in phrases that amaze me. However she shortly strikes away, leaving solely a chunk of Miyagi in my hand.

I believe I get nearer, nevertheless it’s just for a second, and the following time I see Miyagi, it’s as if she’s in a unique place.

Even when we’re consuming collectively, even when we’re in the identical room, even when we’re subsequent to one another and may really feel one another’s physique temperature, we’re not in the identical place.

Solely items of Miyagi have fallen right here and there and I’m choosing them up.

I’m afraid that if I proceed to method Miyagi and inform her how I really feel, she is going to crumble to items and disappear from me. And but I need to get even nearer to Miyagi than I’m now and inform her I like her.

I get the new water out of the bathe.

I wash my hair and physique and go away the lavatory.

I became a sweatshirt as a substitute of pajamas, dried my hair, and drank orange juice within the frequent space. The glass emptied shortly and I seemed on the door to Miyagi’s room.

I believe I ought to return to my room right this moment with out chatting with her.

My hand is knocking on the door although I believe so.

「What?」

The door slammed 3 times opens barely and Miyagi seems.

「The toilet’s empty.」

Once I say so, the door is about to shut with a「okay」and I name out「Miyagi.」

「Is there one thing extra?」

「We could take a shower collectively someday?」

I’m not severe, however I say what I really need it to be.

「No. I’m not getting in.」

「I knew you’d say that.」

I answered shortly, and as Miyagi went to shut the door once more, I grabbed her hand.

I ought to truthfully return to my room.

I do know that, however I can’t let go of Miyagi’s hand. I believed I used to be good at adjusting to others, however I can’t regulate nicely to Miyagi. What I had at all times been capable of do, I’m unable to do solely in entrance of her.

「Sendai-san.」

Miyagi’s small voice shudders my eardrums.

「What’s it?」

「…Am I the one one who does to Sendai-san what I simply did?」

To make a pink mark.

To put on a hickey.

To make a mark solely on Miyagi.

No matter it could be, it’s simple to inform that “one thing like what you simply did” refers to such issues.

「I wouldn’t let anybody however Miyagi do one thing like that.」

「Then okay.」

I don’t know what “okay” meant to.

Is it “okay” for “I’m glad”, “okay” for “good”, or is it a unique “okay”?

With out understanding it, the door slammed shut.