“No, no, I’m high-quality. Thanks.”

Mother nods, her expression tinged with fear. Then she dons a cheery smile and heads towards the door.

As she vanishes into the corridor, the room falls silent, and I sigh, closing my eyes to absorb my final treasured moments of freedom. Every part in me screams to not do what I’m doing. Efrem by no means would have wished this for me. And I do know Pyotr doesn’t. He informed me to remain far-off from each the Veles and Mikhail.

However I’m doing this for my child, I remind myself. And that’s all it takes to strengthen my resolve. It doesn’t matter what I would like. My hopes and goals died with Efrem. Now, I’m alive solely for the good thing about our youngster.

All too quickly, a knock sounds on the door, then Mother peeks her head in with a tentative smile. “Prepared?” she asks, brimming with pleasure.

“As I’ll ever be,” I agree, every phrase as heavy as lead.

Mother swings the door extensive for me, and the photographers leap into motion, capturing each step of my stroll into the ceremony.

The lodge is kind of a phenomenal alternative of venue, the wealthy carpets and decadent mirrors lining the partitions giving it a palatial really feel. And with the ornate bouquets stuffed with aromatic child pink, white, and pastel-blue flowers, it appears to be like as extravagant as ever.

The standard introduction to the bridal march points faintly from across the nook, the place the pianist sits contained in the occasion room. And simply earlier than the closed double doorways stands my father.

He appears to be like good in a pointy black go well with, white shirt, and bowtie. Nonetheless, his face appears to be like drawn and drained, although he’s made it by way of probably the most hectic a part of a politician’s life—election evening. Dad smiles down at me, providing me his elbow, and I take the arm of New York’s latest governor.

To most ladies, I think about that is a kind of particular moments of their lives, a ceremony of passage, a cherished reminiscence to have their father stroll them down the aisle. I can’t assist however really feel some connection to the ladies from days passed by who have been bought off to males they’d by no means met as a result of their fathers informed them to.

This gained’t be a cherished reminiscence I’ve of my father.

I gained’t look again on today and consider it fondly.

That is the day I promote myself into slavery, and all I can do is pray that I’m making the correct determination.

I’m doing this for my youngster.

Mother takes up her station behind me, bending to unfold the practice of my marriage ceremony costume out behind me. We forewent the marriage occasion, the very best man and maid of honor, the ring bearer and flower woman.

I’ve nobody to fill these areas, and Mikhail is simply too outdated to be anticipated to comply with that custom. As an alternative, because the double doorways swing open, nobody stands between me and the person I’m imagined to marry. Only a lengthy, petal-strewn aisle with a sea of individuals standing on both facet.

Gasps of pleasure and awe ripple by way of the gang as I take my gradual, regular loss of life march to the elegant sound of Wagner. Dad’s arm holds me regular. In my different hand, I white-knuckle a cascading bouquet of clematis, amaranthus, candy peas, jasmine, and bougainvillea, all in varied shades of white and faint pastels.

Numerous socialites and celebrities are in attendance—even Adam Web page, my childhood good friend from the political area who so effectively fell from my esteem after our previous few interactions.

The scene earlier than me begins to blur as I sink right into a state much like shock, one during which I’m someplace between semiconscious and having an out-of-body expertise. It’s a blessed aid, and I barely discover once we lastly attain the top of the aisle, my father passing me off to my future husband.

I feel my mother stops to congratulate Mikhail and press a kiss on my cheek. Then she and my father sit, leaving me alone on the altar with Mikhail and a robed officiant.

The ceremony is brief and easy, seeming to be completely scripted and fortunately requiring the naked minimal participation. Fairly than hearken to the phrases of our chosen officiant, I research Mikhail’s face, permitting myself to seek for something likable or redeemable concerning the man I’m imagined to spend my life with.

He does have first rate facial hair, darkish and full and completely trimmed to provide his jaw a powerful form. I ponder if the precise bone construction beneath is something prefer it. Efrem had such a distinguished jawline, one which made him look each highly effective and masculine with out even attempting.

I swallow laborious as my coronary heart twists on the computerized comparability my thoughts jumps to. Even once I’m doing my finest to search for issues I like about my betrothed, evaluating him to Efrem leaves me discovering fault.

I refocus my consideration on his lips and lick mine as I hope they gained’t be as paper dry as they seem. Then they curve up into an oily smile that makes me surprise if he’s watching me assess them.

Oh god, does he assume I’m questioning what it’s wish to kiss him? I suppose, in a means, I’m. Solely I discover myself dreading the second I’ll should kiss him, and I struggle the urge to gag as my abdomen heaves. My morning illness has begun to settle down somewhat over the previous week.

However in the present day, it appears to be again in full pressure. I think about my nervousness isn’t serving to issues.

I shut my eyes, taking a deep, steadying breath by way of my nostril and out by way of my mouth as I do my finest to carry down my nausea.

Then Mikhail’s commanding fingers give mine a squeeze, and my eyes snap open. Everyone seems to be watching me.

“Dani?” Mikhail prompts.

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