A flinch ripples by way of my physique on the comparability.

I handle one other chuckle. “I don’t assume creating magnificence and pleasure is something like their terrible trigger.”

Ivy grimaces. “Okay, perhaps it’s a slight exaggeration—however my level nonetheless stands. No one’s supposed to have the ability to demand that different individuals hand over their lives in service.”

“It’s my calling. I selected it; I take pleasure in it. Nobody will get to determine how each a part of their life seems.”

It’s Ivy’s flip to wince, although I wasn’t even considering of her state of affairs once I made my final comment.

She units her hand on my shoulder. “You’ve got choices. You may make your life about no matter you need it to be. If Ardone would punish you—or all of us—since you haven’t been fulfilling your mom’s legacy for a couple of months or some bullshit like that, then she isn’t a godlen value serving.”

“Ivy—”

“No,” she says. “You’ve fought and spied and scavenged and so many different issues so we might make it this far towards saving the dominion from the worst villains it’s confronted in 5 hundred years. All of that counts, even when it doesn’t match with being a courtesan.” She kicks at a stray pebble on the ground. “Be glad you could pitch in by all these means.”

I don’t must ask to grasp what she means. “You’ve provided greater than your magic, Ivy.”

“Positive. A little bit.” Her head droops. “For only a second this morning, I felt hopeful. However all I did was discover out extra info we don’t know methods to react to. I’ve been wracking my mind for hours, and I haven’t provide you with a single manner I might block the scourge sorcerers’ assault for greater than a second or two with out utilizing my energy.”

“It isn’t all on you. We’ll determine one thing out collectively.”

“However I’m the one one who might do it—who might wipe all of them out in a matter of minutes, simply by desirous to.”

The giggle that tumbles out of her subsequent is so darkish it scares me. “If I really care concerning the individuals they’ll damage, perhaps that’s what I ought to do. What the gods would need from me. Why Kosmel set me on this course to start with. Overlook about my sanity, overlook concerning the harmless individuals within the combine who’ve been duped—blast all of them away and have Stavros able to put me down earlier than I can hurt anybody else.”

The horror that rushes by way of me at her suggestion drowns out each different sensation.

I wrap my arms round her and hug her shut, an anguished burn coming into the again of my eyes. “Don’t say that, Ivy. Don’t ever even assume that. You aren’t a sacrifice.”

Ivy suggestions her head towards my shoulder. She sounds choked up herself. “How is it any completely different from you giving up your life to exchange your mom? I’d be saving the entire kingdom.”

Gods assist me, have I pushed her towards considering this fashion?

I tighten my embrace, grappling with the torrent of feelings coursing by way of my physique.

Is what she mentioned now the way it sounds to her once I speak about fulfilling my mom’s legacy? However that harm was already achieved by my arrival on this earth?—

I suppose Ivy might say the identical factor concerning the harm she’s inadvertently triggered prior to now.

“No,” I murmur. “I don’t imagine it that far. We each need to stay. We need to have some a part of our lives that belong to us. We are able to discover our personal methods to serve our gods with out giving up all the pieces that issues to us. I wouldn’t be right here if I didn’t imagine that.”

However believing it and feeling it in each second aren’t all the time the identical factor.

Ivy lets out a shaky breath. “I would like a lifetime of my very own too. I simply— I don’t know if I’d need to stay in a realm taken over by scourge sorcerers anyway. What if I’m the one probability Silana has? The king’s palms are tied making an attempt to guard the nation towards the Darium risk as effectively. And he thinks we’re the enemy.”

A snort escapes her that sounds extra like her typical self. “Everybody’s towards us, even the individuals we’re making an attempt to avoid wasting.”

I rub my hand up and down her again. “We’ll show him improper. And we might discover help in locations we’re not anticipating it. Take a look at Rheave. He began out because the scourge sorcerers’ instrument, however then he grew to become our ally… and now he’s much more than that to you.”

Ivy stiffens simply barely. “I?—”

“It’s okay,” I inform her earlier than she has an opportunity to assume I’m accusing her slightly than merely acknowledging. “I really like seeing that you simply’ve discovered much more happiness. However who would have thought it’d come from such an surprising place?”

“True.” Ivy hugs me again after which leans into my embrace with a sigh. “It doesn’t appear as if any of the opposite captured daimon have been capable of shake off the scourge sorcerers’ management. And nothing we’ve achieved has rattled their supporters within the march sufficient for them to query whether or not the Order of the Wild actually has good intentions. I don’t see who…”

She pauses for lengthy sufficient that I pull again to examine her expression. Her eyes have lit with a feverish kind of glint.

Ivy straightens up. She stays silent for a number of extra seconds, wetting her lips, earlier than assembly my eyes. “Casimir, if I had an concept that sounded insane however didn’t contain me going insane… would you belief me sufficient to attempt it?”

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