“Bastard!” I screamed at him over the wind, and slapped him throughout the face so laborious my hand went numb, however it gave me no satisfaction. “You cold-hearted monster, how dare you…how dare you …” I didn’t know what I believed he dared, as a result of the tears got here then, as I used to be beating at his chest with my fists, livid, shattered. His arms got here round me, stopping my ineffective blows, pulling me tight towards his physique within the pouring rain, and I solely fought for a second longer earlier than I gave in to the tears that had lastly returned.

He held me. He pulled me shut, pressed my face towards his shoulder and easily held me as I wept, noisy, ugly tears.

“Shhh,” he mentioned softly in my ear as he cupped my head towards him. “It’s all proper.”

“It isn’t!” I sobbed. “Granda’s lifeless, and I liked him, and I hate you, you depressing bastard, I hate you!” My phrases have been garbled however clear sufficient, however Ian saved stroking rain-soaked hair.

“In fact you do,” he murmured inconsequentially, sounding unbelievably mild. “Simply cry it out…”

“I don’t need to cry it out!” I screamed at him. “He’s lifeless!” However I had grown weaker, now not capable of battle him, and I used to be shaking with grief and despair.

He scooped me up in his arms, and I made no effort to push him away, merely letting him carry me in out of the rain, via the secure and up the steep, shadowy stairs. A second later, he’d kicked the door open to his condo, carrying me into the inky darkness. One other flash of lightning illuminated it for a second, after which all the pieces went black once more.

“Shit,” he muttered. “Energy’s out.”

I lastly realized the place I used to be, and I began to battle. “Put me down!” I mentioned furiously, the impact ruined by my tear-thickened voice.

He paid no consideration to me—when had he ever—and carried me throughout the room within the darkness, dumping me on what needed to be a settee. I instantly struggled to stand up, however he merely shoved me down once more.

“You want a drink,” he mentioned. “And I have to get out of those moist garments. What the hell did you suppose you have been doing, operating round in a thunderstorm? Aren’t issues dangerous sufficient with out you getting your self killed within the cut price?”

I barely reacted to the dearth of logic in that assertion—nobody was going to kill me, for God’s sake. “I don’t desire a drink. I simply need to go dwelling.”

“Mariposa is the one dwelling you’ve identified,” he mentioned flatly. “You’re already right here.”

“I’m not needed right here!” I mentioned wildly. “That is no dwelling to me…” I darted up, attempting to keep away from his shadowy define as he loomed over me, solely to smash my shins towards a desk. I cried out in ache, and instantly his arms got here round me once more, and earlier than I spotted what was occurring, we have been each on the couch, I used to be sitting on his lap as he held me.

“Simply cry it out,” he mentioned in a low voice. “You’re proper, I’m a heartless bastard, however I’m right here for you. I do know you really liked him. Simply cry.”

And I did. I cried for Granda, and all of the years misplaced, I cried for my idiocy in agreeing to this silly charade, I cried for Ian and Marcus and loving the improper man, after which I didn’t know what I used to be crying for.

His lengthy fingers wiped the tears from my face, his physique was heat and stable beneath mine, and he cupped my chin, me for an extended unreadable second as I snuffled and cried. After which he kissed me.

This wasn’t like the opposite kisses—there was no anger in it, no menace. His lips have been tender, a candy solace towards the craze of my grief, and I let him kiss me, savoring it, my tears dissolving into stray hiccups as I slowly, tentatively kissed him again.

They have been harmless kisses, secure kisses, comforting kisses, and when he deepened it, there was such a naturalness about it that I adopted him right into a world of sensation that flowed via my physique, warming me within the cool night time air.

He was so massive, so sturdy, and that power felt like security, not a menace, as I leaned again onto the couch cushions, beneath him as he adopted me down. He was laborious, and I acknowledged that with a type of triumph, sliding my arms round his neck and pulling him to me, shifting my hips beneath his, urgent. His arms slid down from my shoulders and cupped my hips as he thrust towards me, and I made a sound of uncontrollable pleasure. This was what I needed, this was what I wanted, all of the ache and lies and uncertainty wiped away in an act of blinding ardour.

After which he pulled away, abruptly, pushing up. “No,” he mentioned, his voice uncooked and breathless.

It was a slap within the face, a surprising blow that made me freeze in my erotic daze. “No?” I echoed in a shocked whisper. He was proper, in fact. This was the worst factor we may do.

He was trying down at me. It was so darkish, I couldn’t ensure if he may see me, however his shoulders have been tense, and emotion vibrated via him.

“Sure,” he mentioned then, his voice certain within the darkness.

“Sure,” I mentioned, reaching for him. “Sure.”

There was hazard within the darkness, there was security. His arms on my physique have been deft, stripping the garments away from me so rapidly I barely had an opportunity to succeed in for my buttons. He was in a rush, and I believed I knew why—he didn’t need sufficient time to move that he thought higher of what we have been doing. I heard the rasp of his zipper, after which I felt him, laborious and heavy towards me.

There was no query as as to if I used to be prepared or not—I used to be wanting him so badly that every one widespread sense had vanished, and I solely knew that this was Ian, and he was mine.

He braced himself over me, pushing inside me, and I gasped in shock. He was greater than what I used to be used to, and previously few months, I hadn’t been used to something in any respect, and my physique protested his regular invasion as I clutched on the easy heat pores and skin of his shoulders, biting my lips to maintain from crying out.

Reaching down, he pulled my legs up round his hips as he drove dwelling, and I made contradictory sounds of delight and ache, tightening my maintain on his physique.

“Am I hurting you?” His voice was little greater than a rasp.

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