“Why do it’s a must to be so cussed?”

Anger started to spark in my chest. How may he chastise me in that second after every thing he’d performed?

“I do know what you’re doing right here.”

“That’s as a result of I informed you.”

“You may be good with me all you need, Callie, however you’re forgetting that I do know you higher than you recognize your self. You’re not hiding from me; you’re punishing your self for not making an attempt to flee.”

“That’s not true. I used to be going to strive; I’d have tried. You simply caught me too quickly.”

“You had each alternative to flee and but you selected to remain. And now you are feeling ashamed as a result of you recognize that you just don’t actually wish to go away me in any respect.”

“You’re so fucking delusional.”

“You don’t have to hate your self for selecting me.”

I turned to face him. “It’s not me that I hate, it’s you! You retain messing with my thoughts! If you happen to wished me damaged then congratulations, you bought your want. I don’t know what to assume anymore, or who to belief, or what I need, or—”

“Who you like?”

Immediately the cage felt too small for my stressed physique. My muscle tissues felt… itchy, like they wanted to run a marathon to make use of up all their vitality. That he had the audacity, after what he’d performed, to counsel that I… The cage was not large enough to comprise my rage, and similar to that, my phantasm of security in that jail was shattered. I threw the door open and clambered out earlier than lunging at Ray. I felt my knuckles join with some a part of his face, not arduous sufficient to do any actual harm, however sufficient to shock him, and sufficient to harm. I waited to really feel his arms pinning me down, or a returning blow, however nothing got here. Ray simply stood there trying surprised. My breath hesitated in my chest whereas I waited for some type of response. There was no means he would ever let me get away with that.

“Does that make you are feeling higher?”

I felt like a wild creature that had been baited too lengthy, that had lastly snapped, and would seem to any rational onlooker as vicious and possibly even harmful.

“It could take much more hits than that for us to be anyplace near even,” I spat in response. I didn’t sound like myself. I used to be by no means violent. I used to be at all times prey, by no means predator. Once I was afraid, I froze; after I was upset, I cried; after I was indignant, I saved it inside till it got here out as tears in a while. The one one that ever obtained the total brunt of my feelings was me. However now I couldn’t comprise them. There wasn’t sufficient room in my physique, within the cage, in that complete home for every thing that was swirling round inside me in that second. I clenched and unclenched my fists. I did wish to damage him. He deserved it. He deserved extra ache than I used to be able to inflicting.

“Go on then.”

I checked out him questioningly.

“Damage me. If that’s what you need. If that’s what it takes to earn your forgiveness.”

He seemed completely honest. I scanned his face for any signal that he was going to lose his mood, however I couldn’t discover any. I observed with a slight pang of guilt that his cheek was turning crimson the place I’d hit him.

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“That’s not who I’m.”

“Is that the one cause?”

“It doesn’t make you particular, Ray. I’ve by no means damage anybody; I’m not like that. You’ve simply turned me into this individual I don’t even recognise.”

“It’s not me doing that, Callie. You assume all of your battle is with me, but it surely’s not. That’s why you received’t damage me. That’s why you’re hurting your self.”

“You’re unsuitable.”

“Look, come downstairs, have some meals, have some drugs – let’s discuss this.”

“We’re speaking now.”

“You understand what I imply.”

“What’s it you wish to say? Sorry for beating me? You assume that can change something?”

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