If this was occurring earlier on in my profession, I might have been dropped in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t be capable of get one other contract, and that will be the tip of me. I wouldhaveto discover one thing else to do with my life.
I’m simply fortunate that I’ve an ideal, stable profession behind me to fall again on. Individuals can recall my observe report after they see me falling aside, they usually don’t have to freak out an excessive amount of…
However I can’t assist however fear that this may be the start of the tip.
“Get it collectively,” Benjamin calls out to me, with a extreme warning edge to his tone. “Come on, Alex, we want you. Get your head within the sport.”
I can’t even nod. That’s the tragic a part of all of this. I don’t have the energy to maintain on pretending. I need to take Benjamin’s phrases to coronary heart and provides him what he wants, what the entire freaking crew wants, however I don’t know if I can.
I search desperately inside for an additional ounce of energy, however shit… do I even have it? Do I’ve something in any respect left to provide?
The puck comes my manner, which I take as destiny. It’s an indication that that is my likelihood to point out everybody that there’s nonetheless a bit of the outdated Alex Barrett in right here.
I slide by means of the opposite gamers with ease, nearly as if the opposite crew feels sorry for me and needs to provide me an opportunity. It isn’t that, after all. They love how a lot I’m struggling, I’m certain. However then… simply as my confidence begins to surge again by means of me, I fumble.
I don’t even know what freaking occurs. I simply kinda journey over nothing, ruining the one likelihood I needed to present the world what I can do.
Each tiny scrap of confidence I had slips away, and my hand is shaking so arduous that my stick nearly drops. I actually can’t do that anymore. Purple rage burns by means of my physique like wildfire. I do know I can’t include it it doesn’t matter what I do. Deep down, I do know I’m about to be benched once more, and that pushes me over the sting.
I’m going to be a joke once more tomorrow.
The press willlovethis.
Fucking hell.
I don’t even must be known as off the ice, I do know it’s coming, so I skate to the facet traces, refusing to fulfill Coach’s eyes as I clamber off.
This isn’t my finest look, however it’s one I’m annoyingly beginning to get used to.
What can I do? How the hell can I get again to who I’m speculated to be?
I take my seat on the bench, silently stewing and hating myself. My leg shakes, my palms intertwine with each other, the burning anger is sort of unattainable to regulate. It doesn’t assist that I can really feel all eyes on me, each whisper within the stadium about me.
What am I doing right here?
Why am I nonetheless doing this?
Part of me needs to take off, to go away this all behind me, whether or not it’s been my dream for years or not. If there was some other dream ready for me exterior of this stadium, then I would go for it in order that I don’t should have everybody me like I’m a pariah.
I want Riley had been right here.
Actually, that’s the one factor I preserve concentrating on. I want she had been one of many individuals me. I would be capable of deal with it then. I wouldn’t have to give attention to anybody else as a result of her eyes can be sufficient.
However she isn’t in New York Metropolis. She’s gone residence, and I don’t even know the place that’s.
Though… Wait, didn’t she inform me sooner or later? She might need even talked about it the primary time that we met. Her household moved when her father died as a result of her mother didn’t need to be within the metropolis any longer, however they didn’t go too far.
I rack my mind desperately, attempting to recollect what she mentioned, attempting to recall the place she may be. A lot has occurred between us, it’s tough to recall every little thing…
But it surely quickly involves thoughts.
Chilly Springs.
Shit, now I keep in mind.
Not solely do I keep in mind, however I need to go.Proper now.There may be a lot of this sport left, and I don’t understand how a lot I can deal with sitting round like an fool particularly now I’ve an motion plan to probably make every little thing higher.
I don’t assume there’s any level in me sitting round and doing nothing. It isn’t going to get me wherever, so regardless of figuring out I shouldn’t, I rise up and depart the stadium with a small plan that may not likely get me wherever. However I’ve to attempt.
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