My reflection seems to be sallow and exhausted, and I really feel as if I am inches away from dying.

The cracked mirror runs a line throughout my face as if I am similar to the scarred man who was standing over my mattress.

I’ve so many questions.

Why did he kill the opposite man?

Was he attempting to assist me?

Was it even about me in any respect?

The sight of crimson catches my eye, and I flip my face to see a spot on my neck that Beck missed when he tried to scrub me up.

As an alternative of desirous to wipe it away, I’ve to marvel what it will really feel prefer to chip away part of the mirror and run the glass down that pulsing space of my throat.

I swallow as tears threaten as soon as once more.

There is not a single factor in my life that I management, however my dying is one thing in my energy proper now.

I pull in a ragged breath, realizing I do not wish to die. I by no means actually have. I’ve needed to get issues over with shortly when every little thing else appeared hopeless, however I by no means needed to be gone. I needed issues to be totally different.

My chest heaves as I attempt to preserve myself from sobbing uncontrollably.

I wish to be beloved.

I wish to be worthy of safety.

I wish to be valued and cherished.

I pull off my garments, tossing them right into a pile. They have been objects purchased by Nathan and, regardless of the expense of the high quality materials, they really feel like sandpaper on my pores and skin.

I do not trouble to attend for the water to heat earlier than stepping below the spray.

I can not get Ruby’s voice out of my head and her insistence that everybody I contact in my life is one other individual on Nathan’s hit listing.

I hate that I used to be a coward, that I selected myself over each individual Nathan has ever harm.

Tears are operating down my face when the lavatory door opens. I am glad for the water coating my pores and skin as a result of I am uninterested in him seeing the weakest components of me. I consider the person loves me, however he’ll solely develop disillusioned with me.

“Not a really sturdy lock,” he says with a tragic smile hitching his thumb over his shoulder. “I simply could not keep on the market whilst you have been in right here.”

I do know it is purposeful that he does not ask if he can be part of me earlier than he begins pulling off his garments. He isn’t going to danger me telling him no as a result of being the person that he’s would imply he’d need to pay attention. I can see by the look in his eyes that he does not wish to be wherever else aside from with me.

He does not pay any consideration to his semi-erect cock as he kicks away his boots after which his denims.

He does not hesitate to drag me to his chest the second he steps into the bathe with me. I press my nostril into his neck, my tears doubling. It takes solely two breaths earlier than I wrap my arms round his waist and cling to him.

I really feel the breath of reduction that escapes his physique as if he had no clue how I would react to him being in right here with me. I hate that I put that doubt into him. I hate how I spoke to him, and the lies I instructed him.

I wanted him away, however I do know now that it does not matter how a lot I really like him again, the universe by no means sides in my favor. Nathan should’ve offered his soul to the satan as a result of he at all times manages to come back out on high. This example might be no totally different, however I can keep in his arms till the evil I introduced into his life rips us aside. Actually, it is the very best both of us can hope for.

“I really like you,” he whispers, his lips in opposition to the highest of my head.

“I do not deserve you,” I say, the reality of it makes my coronary heart ache.

“I am going to preserve saying it till you consider it.”

I sob in his arms, however I can not inform him that I consider him, that I believed him the primary time he mentioned it.

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