It’s too unhealthy it’s not sufficient to apologize. I want I knew what could be sufficient.

~

I’ve been staring on the ceiling for what has felt like hours, resisting the urge to toss and switch. Penelope has a flight out within the morning, so she wants all the remainder she will get. I really feel like I haven’t slept in nights and I’m simply sleepwalking by means of days.

The blankets overlaying me really feel like they’re suffocating me, and I can’t take it anymore. I slip out from beneath them, feeling my palms shake as I open the door to wander. Out right here, I could be as stressed as potential with out worrying about disturbing Penelope’s sleep.

Besides the very first thing I see each time I go away my room is Sebastian’s. The fixed reminder that he’s right here is tough.

The kitchen is quiet, and I really feel like I can breathe once more. I ought to sleep. Lord is aware of I don’t get sufficient of it beneath regular circumstances. My thoughts gained’t shut off, continuously replaying moments in my mind which have led me to the place I’m.

I can’t assist trying within the fridge to get the bottle of crimson cabernet I purchased earlier, pouring myself a glass.

I wander to the desk the place my laptop rests, and I take a drink to flip by means of images of the seaside journey on my birthday once more. I’m searching for any signal that Bash was truthful when he mentioned he didn’t know what he’d do with out me.

Not that it issues.

A couple of minutes later, I hear a creak within the floorboards, and it doesn’t take a genius to determine who it’s. I maintain my breath, ready for him to come back in, however he hovers within the cowl of darkness. My coronary heart is pounding in my chest, and my palms really feel clammy. I haven’t been alone with him in a room but. It’s a lot simpler fascinated with what I’ll do or say subsequent time I see Sebastian than truly doing it.

“You don’t have to cover. It’s nonetheless your condo,” I mumble, simply loud sufficient for him to listen to. I hope he doesn’t hear how my voice is shaking.

Sebastian steps into view, me with uncertainty. It makes me really feel a bit higher that he appears to be like about as shitty as I really feel. Darkish baggage are beneath his eyes, and the scruff on his face has grown lengthy. If he lets it go any longer, he’ll be effectively on his technique to the identical hideous beard Owen had.

“I simply got here out to get a glass of water,” he says hoarsely.

I look again on the display. I’m too drained to play video games tonight. I take an extended drink of the dry wine, attempting to disregard that he’s in the identical room as me.

Sebastian’s presence is tough to disregard, particularly once I can really feel him looking at me. “Do you want one thing, or will you stare at me till you return to hiding in your room?” I ask harshly, glancing over at him.

“Because you’re avoiding me, it will in all probability be the one time I get to have a look at you to ensure…” Sebastian trails off, holding the glass of water in his proper hand.

“To verify what? That I used to be critical about us being over?”

His jaw clenches tightly. “To just be sure you’re okay. Final time I noticed you, you have been drunk and stumbling away from me.”

“For a great purpose. You slept with my supposed finest buddy.”

“Earlier than we have been courting.” He sighs, gripping the counter with one hand and leaning towards it. “You don’t see me getting pissed that you simply screwed round with different guys earlier than we have been collectively.”

“As a result of if I have been to sleep together with your finest buddy, it’d be incest, Sebastian!” I let my mood seep by means of, my phrases popping out louder than I meant. I have a look at the hallway, ready for an indication that we woke somebody up.

“Thalia, I’m sorry,” Sebastian says quietly as soon as the coast is evident.

“Sorry you probably did it, or sorry you bought caught?” I ask shortly, not that it ought to matter what he says.

He units the glass on the counter, nonetheless watching me unwaveringly. “All of it. I’m sorry for all of it.”

I’m glad there’s a counter separating us as a result of the emotion he slipped into these phrases makes my irrational coronary heart flutter. It hasn’t gotten the message that we’re over. “Did you inform her about what occurred between us earlier than I left?”

Sebastian’s face twists in confusion. “I didn’t inform anybody. Regardless of what number of occasions our argument acquired introduced up. I stored my mouth shut.”

“Simply not your dick to your self.” It slips out, however I don’t take it again. “Vera is completely different from the individual we grew up with. I put collectively that she was thinking about you when you and Owen have been at that recreation, however I assume I didn’t put sufficient of it collectively. Vera requested me if I knew who you have been seeing, however the actual query is how she knew you have been seeing somebody within the first place. I solely instructed Blake and Penelope.”

Sebastian turns away from me, bracing himself on the counter as he hangs his head. It’s nearly an identical to the place I discovered him in two months in the past. This time, Sebastian is carrying extra garments and never sporting an enormous bruise.

He sighs deeply as if he’s in ache. “I knew that she was thinking about me. I’m sorry I didn’t see how Vera was treating you. I believed it was harmless and that she was simply…I don’t know. She was on the bar the evening we went to the membership after Penelope acquired right here and prolonged an invite. I instructed her no as a result of I didn’t see her like that. I instructed her I used to be seeing somebody.”

“Now you’re not seeing somebody.” I rise up, shutting my laptop computer more durable than I ought to. Bash talked to Vera proper earlier than Penelope and I went to the bar. She had the nerve to inform me to not piss him off anymore. That occurred whereas we have been collectively, not earlier than. The identical evening I instructed him about Louis, Sebastian had been hit on by one other woman he’d already been with and didn’t inform me. “You made your mattress, so don’t count on me to really feel unhealthy that it’s a must to lie in it.”

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