Episode 34: My Love Was Not Love

The carriage carrying us arrived on the vacation spot shortly after departure. In-built an vintage model, the opera home was magnificent and splendid. We have been guided to an area for the imperial household—one of the best place right here.

As we entered, the concierge pulled the curtains. Together with three seats for us, fashionable finger meals and purple wine have been ready on the desk.

“Chloe, don’t ever take into consideration consuming that wine.”

Daria mentioned sternly and held up a glass of wine for herself.

“Vestie, you too.”

“Why? I need to drink it, too!”

“If it’s simply the 2 of us, Chloe could be unhappy, so that you shouldn’t drink both. Ask the concierge to organize juice.”

“Oh my god. How are you going to be so imply…!”

I seemed on the wine glass in Daria’s hand, making an attempt to not think about the phrases Vestie couldn’t bear to say.

My physique, remembering how scrumptious wine was, reacted naturally and I swallowed my saliva.

“Properly…Your Majesty, wouldn’t consuming one drink assist relieve my nervousness?”

“Why are you so nervous? Loosen up!”

Daria lower off my timid proposal with a single phrase, saying that there isn’t a have to be nervous. I sat subsequent to her with a sullen look.

I used to be sipping the orange juice that the concierge had introduced and the curtain rose shortly thereafter. As an area specifically reserved for the imperial household, it was one of the best place to observe a efficiency.

The plot of the play is a love story between a person who has all the things and a lady who has nothing. Daria vehemently criticized the story, saying it couldn’t occur in actuality, and Vestie mentioned it was a cliche story.

Of the three, solely I grabbed the railing and wiped away tears.

There was no different motive for me to cry. I simply realized that my love wasn’t love after I noticed these frequent love tales that others mentioned have been cliche.

‘Love is the will to make the opposite particular person joyful. If there’s something he needs, it’s love that helps him, even at the price of your self.’

A very long time in the past, Kailos advised me about love. As I grew up, I regularly fell in love with him, and in keeping with his phrases, I attempted to meet all the things he needed on the expense of me.

For him, I seduced one other man, slept with one other man, and had one other man’s little one……. I firmly believed that it was love. However nowhere within the frequent love story was the love I had.

Possibly I had a barely particular love that was totally different from others.  The second I considered that, the actor on the stage spoke,

‘Don’t name it love. If the one factor you felt on account of your sacrifice was not happiness however despair, how may or not it’s known as love?’

My love, which had by no means been joyful, is alleged to not be love. Then, what was I so determined for? It wasn’t even love.

“Oh, my. Chloe! Your eyes are purple!”

When the primary act was over, Vestie checked out me and mentioned, in shock.

“My eyes are at all times purple.”

“I’m not speaking in regards to the colour of your eyes proper now. Did you cry? After watching this?”

Vestie admired my superb sensitivity. Actually, I wasn’t very delicate, however by some means I felt embarrassed.

“It’d be higher to clean up somewhat. So you’ll be able to watch the following act correctly.”

In keeping with Daria’s calmer recommendation, I went exterior to discover a washroom to clean my eyes.

It’s mentioned to be the primary efficiency of the 12 months by probably the most well-known theater firm within the Empire. Maybe that’s the reason, within the hallway, there have been a couple of nobles who I didn’t know their faces, however they seemed very dignified at a look.

I walked away from the individuals who have been known as the Marquis and Countess.  Someway, it appeared that I used to be the one customer on this area.

After I arrived on the washroom and turned on the tap, I stared blankly on the flowing water. With my fingertips soaked in chilly water I tapped the nice and cozy space round my eyes.  I seemed within the mirror and my eyes have been somewhat swollen.

Fortuitously, nevertheless, plainly I’m not the one one who cried whereas watching the drama. I noticed a pair extra younger noble women, like me, who calmed their swollen eyes with chilly water.

“You’re Chloe Garnet……?”

A well-known voice known as my title. The girl within the mirror was me with an astonished look. I rotated considering it was the worst.

“Hey, Miss Marquis Rosaline.”

“Why are you right here……? No, let’s transfer and discuss for some time.”

When folks’s eyes gathered, Marquis Rosaline left me and went exterior first, maybe it was an indication to observe.

I heard murmurs from throughout me.  A few of them pretended they knew me, saying they noticed me on the New Yr’s ball, and others introduced up that I used to be using within the Empress’ carriage.

I sighed quietly and walked towards the place the place Marquis Rosaline disappeared.

“It’s been some time.”

The terrace, the place there have been few folks, gave the impression to be an area for relaxation. Inwardly admiring the Opera Home, the place there may be nothing new, I calmly greeted her once more.

“It’s been some time? Are you telling me it’s been some time?”

Marquis Rosaline was indignant with me. I couldn’t guess why she was indignant with me, so I solely blinked my heavy eyelids.

“You’re so shameless! How horrible has the fort been because you disappeared! His Excellency is so heartbroken!”

He’s heartbroken? Him?

Nonetheless, regardless of how exhausting I attempted to think about, I couldn’t think about Kailos being heartbroken.

“How are you going to betray your benefactor and run away when he raised you to seduce the emperor? So shallow! Should you come right here at this time, you appear to have seduced the lord of a well-known household, proper? Or did you change into a mistress of a high-ranking aristocrat?”

I paused for a second at her bitterly malicious perspective.

‘What can I do to make myself not really feel intimidated anymore?’

I remembered what Raymond advised me not way back after I ran into him throughout the night time.

‘Don’t be intimidated, not solely in entrance of me, however in entrance of anybody else.’

I seemed straight on the girl who at all times made me shrink.

In contrast to me, the girl may stand proudly subsequent to him. The girl who mocked and laughed at me hiding underneath his shadow was in that place.

However I used to be not going to shrink in entrance of her now, as a result of I didn’t envy her anymore, as a result of I didn’t need a spot subsequent to him.

“Didn’t you at all times need me to vanish?”

“What…”

“I assumed Marquis would get pleasure from it probably the most, greater than anybody else, if I left.”

“What are you speaking about now?”

I’ve by no means raised my voice for a second, however the marquise, who was excited, raised her voice.

“I’ve been letting it slide since you have been a baby who he wanted, however you’re actually working round with out realizing the topic!”

Marquis Rosaline’s palm rose excessive within the sky. It was the second after I thought she would hit my face.

“Oh my gosh, this fucking bastard! Who’s the ugly one making an attempt to hit now?”

Vestie, who opened the door and got here in, shouted as she noticed Marquis Rosaline. At that second, her hand, which stopped in mid air, trembled and got here down. Marquis Rosaline took a brief deep breath and checked out Vestie.

“What’s the matter, Princess Caroline? Have you learnt this child?”

Marquis Rosaline, who tried exhausting to cover her anger, requested gracefully elevating the corners of her lips. It was chilling that she was the identical one that had simply responded to me with malice.

“After all, you must know. It’s a really particular relationship.”

Vestie smiled and grabbed my shoulder. Then she raised her voice as if to make others hear, “Chloe and I live in sister Daria’s palace.”

At that second, the environment grew to become noisy. It was then that I discovered the younger women peering via the door that Vestie had left huge open.

“At Her Majesty’s palace……?”

Miss Rosaline checked out me with a glance of disbelief for a second. Then, she clenched each fists.

“That’s a shock. That little one, who had lived solely within the Duchy all her life, had some reference to Her Majesty.”

“I’m extra stunned by you. How can the Marquis attempt to slap her Empress’ hand*? My sister, with a fiery coronary heart, could be very indignant if she came upon.  Daria loves Chloe very a lot.”

(* Empress’ particular person)

“…….”

Daria mentioned Vestie has a mysterious expertise for choosing out solely phrases that scratch folks’s insides. Whether or not the phrases have been true or not, Marquis Rosaline appeared very dissatisfied.

“Excuse me.”

She briefly gave Vestie a silent greeting. Vestie took her hand off my shoulder and crossed her arms and watched the marquis.

The marquis, who was passing by me, immediately stopped strolling and whispered in a low voice.

“I don’t understand how you grew to become the empress’ maid,”

Vestie stared at her together with her eyes huge open, however the marquis continued to speak to me regardless.

“Since this occurred, don’t ever come again. Kyle has already discovered an alternative to you anyway.”

Substitute….?

For a second, with out understanding the which means of the phrase, I used to be dumbfoundedly frozen. With a brief chuckle at me, Marquis Rosaline went exterior. Vestie approached me angrily.

“Are you okay, Chloe? What did she simply say to you?”

Substitute…… Kailos discovered a substitute. My substitute.

“Ah…”

After understanding what she meant belatedly, I stared at Vestie with each eyes blinking. Vestie groaned and rubbed my eyes with a handkerchief.

“That girl! I’ll actually smash her subsequent time we meet! Don’t cry, Chloe!”

It was unusual. I’m not unhappy, however why am I crying once more after I’m probably not unhappy?

No, I’m just a bit upset. In my previous life, I actually devoted myself to him, with all my life. However to him, I will need to have been that sort of existence.  One which could possibly be changed with a substitute when it disappeared.

I’ve recognized it for a very long time, but it surely was exhausting to breathe when it grew to become a actuality in entrance of me.

“Don’t take note of what the marquis mentioned! She’s a lady who smiles and stabs a knife together with her tongue!”

“…….”

All of the sudden, a harsh voice got here towards me with such a heat comfort that I smiled at Vestie, she then blushed and received indignant.

“I advised you to not cry, however why are you laughing like a idiot? Actually….”

“At this charge, I received’t have the ability to watch the present anymore.”

Reducing off Vestie’s grumbling voice, Daria approached us with a chic gait.

“Your Majesty…..”