Not Straightforward (5)

[Sister, I’m sorry. I am writing this letter in hopes that these words will reach you.

Sister, actually… I knew you were abused at your ex-husband’s house, but I pretended not to know.

I thought it wasn’t your fault. It was Father and our older brothers who intervened.

To be honest… I also wished that you were having a hard time. I hated and resented you…

When I was beaten to the point of suffocation and lying with my head on a stone floor. I thought, was that the beginning?

If you didn’t hate Father or dragged Mother out, just endured things quietly. None of this wouldn’t have happened if you had been exemplary from the start. I wouldn’t have been like this if it weren’t for you.

So I blamed you for everything.

The most pitiful and difficult person…  wishing for all of the accusations to be true was me. Then at least you’re comfortable now.

What I’ve done to you…

The lord had come before. He told Father to stop bullying you because he’d make sure you don’t go back.

He’s right to do so. It was Father and Older Brother who broke me, but I only blamed you.

Father and Older Brother were affected by him, but you… You accepted the hate.

I only realized this after you left me.

You were the only one who looked after me whenever I felt sick. You were the only one who felt sad when I cried. I took it for granted. Because I thought you did something wrong to me. And… Because you’re just that kind of person.

I never thought that you would have a hard time.

I also thought I was stupid. I didn’t know I was this stupid.

Why didn’t I ever say thank you to you? Why didn’t I consider that you may have difficulties? Couldn’t I have asked you that?

It’s the same with you who’s never been loved at home…

Sorry for pretending not to know. And I’m sorry for blaming you for no acceptable reason. From the beginning, you did nothing wrong. I should have told you earlier…

In place of our family, and Brother Rocus… I want to apologize to you.  Before he dies tomorrow, I want to tell you that at least once.

If you read the letter, and if there is a chance, will you let me meet Brother Rocus just once?

I think it would be very sad if both Brother Rocus and you regret it later like me.

I don’t need you to see me. I will meet Brother Rocus alone. I’m sorry for asking this again without an ounce of hesitation in this letter of apology.

Even if you see me, it’s okay if you don’t listen to my request or apology. Got it?

In the future, I hope that you will be happy while enjoying a place where there is no one who treats you unfairly.

I’m sorry, Sister. Goodbye.]

* * *

“Did Vlad inform you to not let me exit once more?”

“It’s not like that, however…”

Lily’s shrill voice stabbed Talin. Standing together with her again to the bed room door, Talin hesitated.

“Your complexion… When you transfer now, you’ll really feel much more unwell, Madam.”

Even her smiling face seemed pitiful. She was so weak at this time that she would stagger even when somebody solely rubbed towards her. Her chapped lips have been additionally very apparent.

Lily had her swish hair up neatly. In meticulous braids, which her maids spent a lot of time on.

Her dazzling diamond-encrusted necklace shone alongside her collarbones. The identical was the identical for the colourful earrings that shook at any time when she moved her head.

Her complexion seemed even paler due to her blue costume, paying homage to the summer time sea.

All through the attendant, she urged that she had no time for this, however her maids insisted. Ultimately, Lily was compelled to allow them to do what they needed.

However now, Talin was standing in her manner.

“Do you know too?”

A glass that was crafted with a mistake by a craftsman who indulged in extreme ambition. Lily was that skinny glass. Even the contact of a fingertip would appear to interrupt her.

“Did everybody know that at this time was the day my brother was going to be beheaded, apart from me? Even the maids…”

What was unsuitable with that knight who doesn’t know the place to place herself in entrance of her eyes?

She was the one who responded with a sorry smile, “The lord himself… received’t do it. You continue to have to remain there. When you see it for your self, you’ll not prefer it, Madam.”

Lily grabbed the entrance of her cloak. She couldn’t stand not having one thing to carry.

It was futile, like redoing a puzzle that was destroyed after hours of labor.

She reduce herself off all of the life she needed and stuffed the void together with her youthful brother. She by no means needed that, however she ended up dwelling that manner.

Regardless of how upset and resentful she was. May she really feel so relieved on the demise of her household?

“I deserted my brother. Even that love has by no means been my will, nevertheless it was the primary alternative I made in my life.”

The day her brother died would even be the day part of her did.

“So I’ve to see him.”

It wasn’t a request or persuasion. It was an order.

“…I’ll take your orders. Madam.” Talin bowed.

It was as if her reminiscence had been folded in half. After that, it was nearly empty.

She didn’t have to attend for the carriage to come back. Talin pulled her horse and positioned Lily in entrance of her. A battle horse that boasted a shiny, gentle brown mane. The 2 girls obtained on it.