It’s humorous how issues can flip bitter so quick.

One second I used to be considering of the way to assist Kurokawa survive her ordeal, going so far as asking for permission from the others to comply with her. Sadly, a pair minutes later, I’m stumped in my place, solely allowed to stare at her shaking physique disappearing from sight. Regrettably, all the things goes in essentially the most sudden approach doable.

This isn’t an over-exaggeration, however anticipation stuffed my chest whereas coming right here. Pondering all the things would go nicely even made me really feel a bit giddy. Actually, I had excessive hopes.

I actually did.

And now, when all is alleged and carried out, from my neck to my ft, as if all the things is briefly disconnected, the alerts are all minimize, making me a briefly paralyzed man. Regardless of how briskly my coronary heart beats and the way I power my legs and arms to maneuver, nothing. Not even the slightest. They’ve all given up on my command as if dissatisfied of their proprietor. I can perceive that fully, although. As a result of I’m simply as dissatisfied.

For a second, I’m nothing greater than a lifeless physique: chilly, lifeless, and out of attain.

Easy as that.

Exterior, the solar shines brilliantly with out batting an eye fixed on us, however it’s laborious for me to really feel something good after what occurred. From that limitless supply of heat up excessive within the sky, its radiance comes all the way down to this place and touches my face. And as I keep nonetheless, by no means altering my stance, slowly however certainly, that majestic heat turns into searing warmth on one facet of my cheek.

In a approach, that seems like a painful slap. A harsh reminder from the world, if you’ll. Nonetheless, though it’s not an amazing factor to expertise at this occasion, the guilt in my coronary heart would have been much less if Kurokawa slapped me immediately. She may have punched me within the face, kicked me, or carried out something she would do to ease the ache I prompted. As an alternative, she went on her approach.

Know your home, the recent sensation on my cheek says. Who’re you to alter something, it says. She by no means wanted your assist. To start with, you’re however ineffective canon fodder, it says. How I want I’m solely imagining that.

“I’m one dumb piece of crap…” I look to the bottom, and traces of the bookworm are nonetheless there.

In contrast to her disappearance, Kurokawa’s tears haven’t but been vaporized on the hallway ground. Actually, they’re now refracting mild again onto my face. Because of the lighting from exterior our hallway, her teardrops glow like stunning clear crystals, even brighter and sparklier than diamonds ever can.

Nonetheless, in distinction to her gem-like tears, crimson-colored droplets of blood are littered all around the tiles from the doorway of the feminine restroom. I nonetheless have no idea what prompted that wound on her hand. But I’ve little doubt it got here from the bookworm herself. As soon as once more, she couldn’t include her feelings, and that laceration on her arm was the consequence.

Staring aimlessly at these droplets, I all of a sudden suppose that Kurokawa’s blood and tears are the one proof of her ever being right here. In essentially the most literal sense, with out these, nobody would consider a dialog on this lengthy hallway. Truly, nobody would ever imagine there was even somebody known as Kurokawa.

After so lengthy, I can say that I perceive the bookworm to some extent. Kurokawa’s existence is confirmed simply because she is harm. Whether or not the origin was from her or somebody or one thing else didn’t make any distinction. Ever since she may bear in mind, Kurokawa has at all times met with disdain and dissatisfaction. She tried all the things she may to enhance that state of affairs, and but nothing modified after so a few years.

All this time, the one approach for her to know she was nonetheless alive was due to the ache she needed to endure. There was no love in her life, no friendship, no nothing. Her mom taught her that to like was to undergo, and she or he took that lesson onto her pores and skin beneath the palms of her beloved mom. Kurokawa by no means knew cope with constructive suggestions as she lived within self-blaming and self-doubt. Even when praised, she would by no means settle for herself and solely disregarded her achievements as pure luck. In her thoughts, Kurokawa was by no means ok.

Then, what would occur if that individual killed their abuser? Would she lastly break away from these curses? Would she lastly be capable to reside exterior the cages she arrange for herself?

The reply was a giant fats no. Kurokawa couldn’t reside via it. A lot in order that…she would kill herself solely to be launched from the horror of her thoughts.

I used to be there. I noticed the reduction in our bookworm’s inexperienced however lifeless eyes. Kurokawa was glad to be killed off. She was solely joyful…after she was lifeless.

What if saving her just isn’t the way in which? What if I ought to let Kurokawa go together with the story, killing her personal mom after which being unable to reside with that immense guilt?

“Was I improper?” Forward of me is now not the slender physique of Kurokawa. She runs away so quick that I can’t catch even a glimpse. Actually, it’s as if she needs to flee actuality and me quite than simply run from me alone.

“Was it improper to come back after her?”

I can not reply these questions anymore as a result of they’re already answered.

Firstly, they’re rhetorical. Secondly, they had been accomplished by none apart from Kurokawa herself.

Standing right here like a scarecrow, I hold asking myself what to do subsequent. After all, going again to class is among the choices, but it looks as if I’ve not completed something price note-taking. Then once more, being within the hall can also be completely ineffective to anybody.

I severely thought I may persuade Kurokawa to not go house for at this time or no less than persuade her to let everybody comply with her simply in case issues received unhealthy. Ultimately, nothing got here out of my mouth that made sense.

Maybe I valued myself too extremely. That’s most likely right… What can a mob character obtain with out the assistance of the protagonist? They haven’t any purpose to lean on me for consolation. Actually, it’s the actual reverse. I’m the one who has to search out consolation in taking a look at them to really feel alive. Seeing Rachel and Laura giving me my consideration has been each constructive and adverse.

I get overconfident in my restricted capability. That won’t do.

“False hope, huh.” I breathe out closely. These two phrases, despite the fact that quick, are heavier than neutron stars.

They’re so heavy that I felt like Kurokawa punched my abdomen simply by saying them. No, I want she would beat me so laborious that I vomited breakfast.

I by no means thought there can be a day that I might trigger such a devastating factor to anybody. Not in 1,000,000 years, no less than. Normally, the one on the receiving finish can be none apart from me.

Solely till being on that finish that one would totally grasp how completely painful their coronary heart would really feel. Think about being squeezed in an hermetic container, put right into a grinder, and thrown into the deepest a part of the ocean. That’s the bodily equivalence of being crushed by false hope. It places you up excessive on the pedestal created from the best marble within the universe, feeds you one of the best meals and beverage cash can ever purchase, after which tears your limbs aside, ripping your coronary heart out out of your chest whereas laughing.

And I used to be giving that to Kurokawa…

“I am so…so sorry…”

“Hey, fairly boy. Why are you sitting in entrance of the lady’s room?” All of a sudden, from behind, I hear the voice of a well-known chef-wannabe.

“He is not right here for jokes, Rachel. Get severe.” Laura walks in entrance of me and scolds Rachel instantly.

“Effectively, I assumed that will lighten my darling up a bit. Do not be such a celebration pooper on a regular basis, Reppy.” After all, that foolish blond lady won’t ever take heed to the category rep.

Additionally, Reppy?

Laura shares my similar thought apparently: “Reppy?” Her voice sounds a bit surprised.

“Class rep is so lengthy and uninteresting. Reppy is a significantly better alteration to your job. C, do you prefer it?” From behind, somebody wraps her palms round me and places her chin on my proper shoulder. Her full bosom presses tightly on my again. My darkish imaginative and prescient adjustments in lower than a second, due to that. “I wish to hug you with all my energy, however you will pop like a balloon if I do this.”

How does she say one thing so graphic however so cartoonish on the similar time?

That Reppy sounds fairly cute, although. My lips unconsciously transfer after listening to Laura’s ridiculous nickname.

“No, Rachel. Reppy appears like a canine’s title.” Laura’s amber eyes flip upward as she sighs.

Wait, now that Laura is placing it like that…

“Reppy… Reppy… Yeah! I can hear it too!” Rachel laughs merrily.

“Cease saying it, please!”

“Reppy! Reppy! Reppy!”

“Now YOU are sounding like a canine!! Reduce it out!” Laura yells.

“Ahem!” Rachel lets go of me to affix Laura in entrance. “As you possibly can see, darling, we thought that you’d want some cheering up after seeing you being alone on this place.”

“Although I by no means anticipated to listen to Rachel behaving like a canine, I actually hope we may make you are feeling considerably higher.” Laura stares at me with fearful eyes. “Additionally, we have to apologize for following you right here. We had been solely ensuring nothing goes out of the road.”

I do know they might not go away me alone, so that’s anticipated. Then again, I really feel blessed as a result of they got here to cheer me up like this greater than something. It definitely helped since I’ve been staying nonetheless for who-knows-when. If they’d not come right here, I have no idea when I’ll begin transferring. Although Kurokawa’s case nonetheless weighs closely in my chest, it feels good to see these two women working facet by facet for as soon as.

That final half within the class rep’s sentence sounds a bit heavy, although…

Rachel glances at Laura with a mischievous smile however says nothing.

“As your girlfriend…” Laura continues.

“Girlfriends!” Rachel corrects her with lightning pace.

“Shut the hell up! Ahem! Pardon my rudeness. You recognize you possibly can depend on me, proper, C?”

Rachel shoots her hand up like a rocket. “And me! You’ll be able to at all times ask Rachel about all the things!”

They each smile warmly, wanting me to open up to them.

Actually, these women do not know how a lot of an influence they’ve created. Unhealthy and good.