As I kick the covers off roughly and arise, the powder of the crushed shells scatters within the air. The powder falls gently similar to snow in winter. Behind me, Michael stares down at me with vacant eyes. Taking a look at his closed eyes with an detached expression on his face, I can’t assist however really feel my anger rising.

“Michael!”

“…….”

“Why are you doing this to me? When did I ask you to indicate me this dream?”

I do know. The mirror has no sin.

If there’s any sin, it’s in my reflection within the mirror.

“I’d relatively you present me a nightmare. I’d relatively…….”

Goals are the reflection of the unconscious. So what am I hoping for: that Heo-sang will acknowledge that I’m John, or that I would be the first to spill all my secrets and techniques to him, in order that we are able to spend the remainder of our lives collectively in happiness?

Handing over the vicious curse to Heo-sang in the long run? Wanting him to stay a lonely life like I do after I die? Compelled to stay 10 years with out with the ability to love anybody or be cherished after which disappear?

“No…. I…I’m not that irresponsible.”

I wiped the despair from my face, which was as arduous as if I had been stroking a corpse.

I believed I’d have the ability to neglect him in some way. I believed that if my physique was distant, my coronary heart would additionally develop distant from him, however my longing grows stronger and stronger. The extra I wrestle to stay, the extra I sink, and so you might be continuously on my thoughts.

It was a hellish week. It was an agonizing time that made me lengthy for the times of nightmares. Day and night time, all I’ve to do is shut my eyes for a second and he’s there. However now I understand how to get up from my goals.

“Sang-ah.”

Calling his identify brings me again to actuality. Typically my goals are so vivid that I can’t distinguish between actuality and goals. I really feel like I’m strolling a tightrope on a blurry line. As I stare bleary-eyed on the ceiling, I understand I’m dropping my thoughts.

Ding dong.

Simply then, the doorbell rang. Straight away, my idle ideas disappeared. As if possessed by one thing, I stood up and walked to the entrance door. My staggering gait was like that of a drunkard. With one hand on the wall, I breathed in slowly. Afraid to even look by the tiny peephole, I requested cautiously.

“…Who’s it?”

My coronary heart was beating so nervously in anticipation of who was on the opposite aspect of the door. As I took a deep breath to shake off the stress, I heard a well-recognized voice.

“Hajae-hyung …It’s me.”

The surprising voice took me without warning, and my hopes had been dashed, leaving me with nothing however actuality. Now that my relationship with Heo-sang was over, there was just one one that might name me ‘Hajae-hyung’.

“…Raphael?”

I opened the door fastidiously and it was certainly Raphael standing there. He seemed simply as I remembered him, together with his mild blond hair and flashy earrings, however he was in an odd state. His shoulders had been slumped, and his fidgeting palms in some way seemed subdued.

Raphael who had been sneaking glances at me gave me an ungainly smile.

“It’s been some time, hyung …Sorry for coming unannounced.”

“What brings you all the best way right here?”

Raphael seemed a little bit flustered after I went straight into enterprise, then rapidly composed himself.

“I used to be simply questioning how hyung was doing.

“For this reason I like kind-hearted folks. It’s apparent once they lie.

Nonetheless, it’s Raphael, not another person, so I let it slide.

“Are available. I don’t have a lot however I can at the very least make you a cup of tea.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

Raphael adopted me in and sat down on the desk naturally. He stated he’d come to see how I used to be doing, however he nonetheless seemed uneasy about what was on his thoughts. Placing his nervous state to the again of my thoughts, I boiled water in a espresso pot and added a inexperienced tea bag.

The 5,000 gained mug I purchased on the native grocery store had a 50 gained tea bag floating in it. I needed to offer him one thing good for his hospitality, however I had by no means had company in my life, so I didn’t have fancy tableware or tea.

“I’ve been residing by myself, so that is all I’ve.”

With an ungainly smile, I set the cup down and Raphael claps his palms.

“Oh no, it’s okay. I like inexperienced tea.”

He’s sort. I made such a form little one watch as I slit my throat together with his knife. It wouldn’t be sufficient if I apologized 100 instances. I sit throughout from him and stare at him, and Raphael finishes his tea.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m positive, due to Raphael.”

“That’s a reduction. I used to be actually nervous you may need some after-effects.”

“You don’t have to fret about that.”

I’m positive I might have survived in some way even when he hadn’t handled me, as my physique is unnecessarily sturdy. Nonetheless, I owe him a debt of gratitude for what he did. No, an apology ought to come first.

I sighed softly and bowed my head slowly.

“I sincerely apologize for what occurred that day.”

“…sure?”

“I confirmed an unpleasant aspect to you.”

He didn’t reply regardless of how lengthy I waited, so I lifted my gaze to fulfill his clean stare. I assume he didn’t anticipate a simple apology. Raphael, catching my look, jerked like a damaged doll.

“Ah…! Oh, properly. I used to be shocked, however I’m positive you had your personal causes, so it’s okay.”

“Nicely, it’s good that you simply perceive, however I actually needed to apologize to Raphael.”

“No, it’s positive. Don’t let it weigh your thoughts.”

Raphael nodded vigorously and reached for my hand on the desk, however his palm was surprisingly chilly. I undoubtedly served him a sizzling cup of inexperienced tea… now that I have a look at him, his face is pale. I might see the uneasiness in his face, regardless that he was smiling. He seemed like he was being chased by one thing.

“So why did you come to see me? Certainly you didn’t come since you had been genuinely involved about my well-being?”

“That…….”

As if he had a hesitant coronary heart, Raphael glanced round with vast eyes. There was one thing acquainted about that look, so I gauged his response cautiously.”

Is it for a similar motive the bodyguard got here by for the opposite day?”

Raphael’s eyes widened on the point out of the phrase bodyguard.

“He was right here?”

“For those who imply the one who’s at all times by Simeon’s aspect, sure. He was right here final week.”

“So that you… talked to him? Did you speak?”

“No, I didn’t. I stated I wasn’t .”

I had despatched him on his means with out one other phrase, fearing my resolve can be shaken. I’ve no intention of listening to Simeon’s aspect of the story, even whether it is Raphael.

Gently pulling away from his grasp, I shook my head.

“I’m sorry, but when Raphael’s going to speak about Simeon too, I would like you to depart.”

“Hyung. W-wait a minute.”

“I can’t let you know what the circumstances are, however… Anyway my thoughts gained’t change. I’ve no intention of assembly him.”

Raphael’s face turned pale at my agency refusal. His smile, which had been making an attempt to cover his nervousness, was gone, and he seemed like he would possibly cry at any second. Raphael leapt to his toes and promptly fell to his knees.

“Please hearken to me, hyung.”

Panicking, I grabbed his arm and tried to drive him to his toes, however he wouldn’t budge.

“What’s flawed with you unexpectedly?”

“Hajae-hyung …you’re the one one who’s left.”

“What are you speaking about?”

“You’re the one one who can save the guild chief.”

……What? Save who? Simeon? Why? Did he get damage?

“At this price, the guild chief… he would possibly die.”

Struggling to carry again tears, Raphael gripped my arm with a trembling hand. From his shaking, his anxiousness and nervousness was palpable. However I didn’t have the presence of thoughts to consolation him. My thoughts was already racing with 1,000,000 questions.

Dying? Simeon? The person who gave the impression to be doggedly surviving to the tip? For what?

…Wait. May this be a entice? May he be making an attempt to name me again and lock me in a cage this time. Perhaps he’s making an attempt to chop off my two wings, take away my voice, and switch me right into a canary that stays quietly by his aspect.

Even within the presence of a crying particular person, my suspicion is frighteningly current. I attempted to push Raphael away, however I used to be met with determined, pleading eyes.

A face that seemed prefer it might cry at any second, a face that resembled Heo-sang of my childhood, praying for my life.

“Hyung. Please assist me.”

Assist him do what? What can I do?

If I’m going again to his aspect like this, no matter I did to remain away will likely be for naught. There’s actually no turning again this time. I knew in my intestine that I might by no means go away him once more, not of my very own volition. It’s a freedom I’ve earned, Heo-sang’s future I’ve earned, and I can destroy it with my very own palms.

However what if…… he dies?

What would I’ve achieved all my life?

I left the letter, sneaked away at daybreak, survived the fireplace, modified my face, and lived a quiet life, throwing away all recollections of the previous. After the reunion, I managed to chop myself off from him, even when it meant killing myself.

Sure. I did all of this for Simeon. In order that he might outlive me by even sooner or later, to stay a lifetime of loving somebody with out guilt, to be cherished. I attempted to get away with hurting myself, hurting him, and involving an unrelated particular person.

However it was actually Simeon. ……What if Heo-sang dies?