After I was youthful, I preferred the curse as a result of it felt like proof that my mom cherished me, however as time went on, I grew to resent it. I hated my immortal physique, and I hated my mom for passing on this curse.

The rationale why this curse is unlucky is not only as a result of the day they need to die is slowly approaching. As time passes…. the nearer they get to loss of life, the extra sad they change into as a result of they’re utterly remoted. When my mom and father died, I used to be left alone on this planet, and I believed that my loneliness can be alleviated by assembly with Heo-sang, however it was an phantasm.

As soon as I felt heat, I needed extra. Yet one more day, two extra days. The longer we keep collectively, the heavier the parting that can sooner or later come. Simply as a drop of water discovered by probability for a thirsty man is felt not as hope however as despair, so the longer I stayed by Heo-sang’s aspect, the extra my thirst grew.

At one level, I considered simply following my coronary heart, however ultimately, I selected to run away. I don’t need to damage him, however I don’t need to depart him with loneliness. I needed him to recollect me not as the reason for his curse, however as his unfulfilled past love, and on my deathbed, I attempted to defend myself by saying, ‘I did my finest to not convey you a curse.’

…. Although even that plan is now in tatters.

“Hajae, I hate you.”

I hate you, too, mum. However I nonetheless love her.

“Why are you the one one who survived?”

I don’t know why ……I want we may have died collectively.

When mum was eaten by the curse, when dad died within the accident. I want I may have dragged my damaged physique to the ocean, simply jumped in and floated away like an inorganic object. My physique temperature would drop, my physique would go limp, my mind would utterly fuse, and I’d be a residing corpse that might fill the following ten years earlier than decomposing.

To reside. What am I going to do with my life? Would I’ve spent a fortune ingesting the treatment and hanging on for expensive life, and would I be glad with the current? No, I’ve nobody to look as much as. I’ve no buddies, and I don’t make relationships for concern of spreading the curse.

For a similar cause, after all, I couldn’t have animals. So I received used to spending my birthday alone. Generally I climbed onto the roof and stood on the ledge, however every time I gave up and got here down. It wasn’t that I used to be afraid of leaping, it was that I used to be afraid of being alive and never useless.

Fortunately, I lasted seven years. Then, with lower than a yr left to reside, I used to be reunited with Heo-sang. I used to be even shackled in order that I couldn’t escape. Tragic endings are a given. I simply have to die when the time comes, however Heo-sang who might be left alone will endure the ache of separation twice due to me.

That’s it. I’ll certainly cross the curse on to him.

The curse of being terribly lonely and continuously feeling responsible after I take a look at the individual I really like.

“Hajae.”

I slowly lifted my head on the voice calling my identify.

I don’t really feel the ache in my thigh anymore. The stench of blood wafts via my nostrils, and I do know I should be bleeding profusely. My thoughts turns into more and more fuzzy. I can barely see via the tears I’ve shed.

Nevertheless it’s comfy. The coldness of my fingertips makes me really feel like I’m swimming within the ocean.

“Let’s run away collectively.”

A delicate voice embraces me. As if mesmerised, I choose myself up off the ground. One among my legs was weak, and it was arduous to face nonetheless. Nonetheless, I staggered ahead.

“Come right here.”

Come. To her household’s aspect. To a house the place she didn’t have to consider something.

After I lastly reached out into the darkness, a brilliant mild out of the blue stung my eyes. I froze in place and appeared all the way down to see the mother-of-pearl glistening on the holy water, and subsequent to it, a blood-stained shoe.

I used to be about to step on the boundary line created by the holy water.

”…what was I considering…….”

I stumbled backwards with a begin. After I appeared up with a clearer imaginative and prescient, I noticed one thing fluttering within the darkness, and it wasn’t my mum or dad.

“Hajae.”

“You’re…….”

Stretching towards me have been wings coated in pure white feathers. It had a pale face, with degenerated eyes and a nostril, and solely parched lips shifting. A being so massive it may have touched a thousand sheets, it had an all-too-familiar form.

It was the singer of everlasting relaxation.

“Fenex…!”

Nonetheless unable to cross the boundary he had created with the holy water, he was urging me to depart alone. Sensing my intentions, it slipped again into the darkness, then slyly mimicked the voice I least needed to listen to.

“Hyung.”

He shook his head harshly as he heard the little boy’s voice.

“Why, did you permit me?”

I need to not waver, it doesn’t matter what is in entrance of me.

Slowly, I bent my knees, my thighs tingling from the gaping wound. Nonetheless, I knelt in place and sat up, my fingertips dipped in holy water to wipe the blood from my face. A trickle of water rolled down my cheek: blood, tears, holy water-I couldn’t inform anymore.

Then, with trembling fingers, I traced the holy symbols and recited a prayer.

“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those that trespass towards us….”

All of the whereas, I hear my mum’s voice. She’s calling me. Calling me to come back right here. She whispers to me to come back again to my household, to my mum’s arms, to the one I’ve missed a lot, to make myself at house.

“Information us…… and lead us not into temptation….”

It seems to be heat. The white wings unfold out in direction of me really feel so enveloping. If I may simply lean towards them, all my worries would disappear, and I’d enter into everlasting relaxation.

“…free me from evil.”

My unwilling legs twitched as if they could rise at any second, and I mumbled the sentence as I clutched the affected space. As if brainwashing myself, praying for this ache to cross.

“From evil……. Please free me from evil…”

I closed my eyes tightly and mumbled like a delirious individual.

I don’t know what number of occasions I repeated the identical phrases. The voices in my head out of the blue disappeared. Slowly, like a fog lifting, I got here again to my senses and heard an pressing voice within the distance.

In some way it appeared to be calling to me…

“John!”

A tough shake on my shoulder jolted me awake. When my blurry imaginative and prescient returned, I noticed a well-recognized face. Simeon. His face was by some means much more distorted than mine as he squinted, finding out my complexion.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded slowly and appeared round: the church was brightly lit by the brand new candles; the nun beside me, wanting down at me with concern, was unhurt; and the white wings that had been so persistently tempting me have been nowhere to be seen.

Had it disappeared, or was I dreaming?

“Fe…ne…x…?”

I pronounced every letter with parched lips, and Simeon appeared me straight within the eye and answered.

“It’s over.”

“Oh, thank goodness…”

He didn’t even end his sentence earlier than he collapsed.

“John!”

I believed I noticed a white feather earlier than my blurring eyes.

On my seventh birthday, my mum got here house from work with a mannequin dinosaur set. It was the toy I’d been begging for all week. My dad had made an incredible whipped cream cake. He’d learnt to bake after being scolded by a highschool good friend. Actually, it didn’t look good, however the squiggly “Glad Birthday to my son” written in chocolate pen was somewhat touching.

So the three of us sat across the desk for the primary time in a very long time. We placed on our high hats and sang glad birthday collectively. Simply as I used to be about to blow out the candles after making my finest needs, Mum stated playfully.

”Should you don’t blow out the candle without delay, your want is not going to come true.”

So I blew as arduous as I may. However resulting from my bronchial asthma, I ended up with one candle left. It doesn’t matter what I did, I couldn’t blow it out. Needs don’t come true. The thought introduced tears to my eyes.

My mum panicked and blew out the candle together with her fingers. My dad instantly snatched the candlestick out of the wick earlier than it was even scorching, and so they each got here to my aspect on the identical time, wanting to cheer me up.

“It’s okay, Mum will make your needs come true. Would you like mum to make some huge cash?”

“No, honey, I don’t know why you out of the blue stated that when he was blowing out the candles.”

“I didn’t assume it might be like this……. Oh, anyway, don’t cry. Son.”

I discovered it hilarious that she was attempting so arduous to maintain her solely son from crying on his birthday. However I couldn’t assist however giggle.

”So what was my son’s want?”

As a result of I knew this was a dream.

“To die having cherished nobody…… I need to die.”

I opened my eyes gently on the throbbing ache in my thigh.

“…Mmmm…….”

The spotless white ceiling is acquainted. That is the Apostle’s base on a distant island. Perhaps it was the reminiscence of being locked up for every week that made it really feel so comfy, like house, despite the fact that it wasn’t.

I stare blankly on the ceiling for some time, unable to raise a finger as a result of my physique looks like soaked cotton. Nonetheless, I used to be so thirsty that I needed to ask for a glass of water. Even a bodyguard who by no means solutions my questions may do this.

I attempted to push myself up up and about with my fingers, however my fingers have been caught, like they have been caught on one thing. I struggled to raise my head, appeared down at my hand, and let loose a muffled scream.

“…What… a shock…”

Simeon was mendacity face down on the mattress, holding my left hand. I may hear his respiratory evenly, as if he had fallen asleep in that state.