“Caedryn, you dropped your walls. I do believe this is the first time I’ve seen you relax since you’ve been here.”

I’m not sure what she’s sensing because she can’t discern light. Maybe she noticed how I physically relaxed as I searched for the commander, but it doesn’t last. As I stiffen under her gaze, I force the rigidness that creeps into my appendages to leave, especially since I don’t want her to think she makes me nervous. But who wouldn’t tense up under the scrutiny of a murderer?

“Do you like being a Half-emrys of Light?” she asks. She means those who possess more light than darkness, though I do carry both.

I remain motionless.

“I’ll let you in on a secret,” she says.

I don’t answer her question because I’m too busy watching her hand come toward my face.

“Those who are darkness feel pain from the touch of pure light,” she says. “I have not felt my mother’s touch without torment for hundreds of years. When a healer places her hands on my skin, fire licks through my veins and cuts through my muscles.”

The empress places two fingers on my jaw near my ear and slides them to my chin and trails them toward my gray dragon stone. “Touching you only stings as much as dragging my fingers over raspberry brambles.”

I’m tempted to grab her hand. I want so much to crush her wrist in my grasp.

“What does that say about your light, Caedryn? Shouldn’t you singe my flesh as powerful as you are?”

“I’m not nearly as powerful as Mother Siana. I work to keep my light and darkness balanced.”

“Does this balance make you stronger?”

“Possessing some of both powers is an advantage.”

“You see how strong Meuric is. Why not let the darkness rule you?”

“Your Highness, if I let my darkness rule me, then how could I possibly be the asset you desire? Have my gifts not been useful so far?”

As she steps back, annoyance flares in her eyes. “Do you wish your empress was a Daughter of Light? Do you wish Mother Siana ruled?”

“No, Your Highness. You have guided us with wisdom.” I don’t care that this is a lie. I tell the empress what she wants to hear. “The lords all recognize your power, and whether it is darkness or light, it matters not.”

“But you would have me be a righteous ruler.”

“I would.”

“What if you ruled?” she asks. “Would you execute righteous judgment with your equal balance? Would you be such a valiant man when faced with the brutality of men and the subsequent punishments required for justice?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t ever considered ruling.”

“You do not covet my power?”

“I do not,” I say.

The empress narrows her expression. “Ruling requires complete allegiance to one power. Only then was I strong enough to unite the realms. No other person could do it. Not Meuric, not any of the mortal lords. Just me. Do you understand?” Her voice catches on the emotion of her words. Where I would have broken down, she plows on. “I’m the one, the only one, who can keep everyone in control.”

Her body suddenly looks exhausted. A weight has dropped onto her shoulders. The empress has let me in on a secret other than touch that burns her.

She’s tired.

Ruling is a strain.

And she trusts me enough to show me her weaknesses.

16

I watch Empress Rhianu in the training yard. Today she practices with her dark power. A dozen half-emrys of varying degrees of light surround her. They all attack at once. The empress carries an impressive energy shield. No one has breached it so far. What’s more impressive is the empress can hold one while projecting volleys on her assailants.

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