I google Bangor, Maine, shifting my cellphone to my different ear. “Yeah, that does sound enjoyable. All proper, effectively, e-mail all these over to me, and I’ll textual content you the rest. Thanks, Nadine.”

I hold up, wanting on the map on my display. It’s simply over 100 miles from Bangor to Bethel. I might add a pair days onto the journey and go see Ethan and… What? Say hello? Dry hump his leg? Give a clumsy speech declaring my love?

I rub my brow.

Me: Hey, are you able to lengthen my journey to Bangor for the entire week?

Nadine: Positive factor, Boss. Anything?

Me: That’s it. Thanks!

And identical to that, as soon as once more, I’m going to Maine.

***

I’ll by no means perceive why Miami sells winter garments, however they do. Because of this, the week earlier than my journey to Maine in mid-January, I drag my mother and Marin with me to the town to buy groceries.

“Penelope, present some pores and skin. You seem like a nun.”

Eyes narrowed, my mother pinches on the sweater I’m carrying prefer it’s a chunk of rotten produce.

“It’s twenty-three levels in Maine, Mother. Displaying pores and skin will kill me,” I argue.

She scoffs and turns up her nostril. “Properly, you received’t win him over wanting like that, that’s all I’m going to say. I imply, a turtleneck?” she huffs. “It’s blasphemous to a lady’s physique!”

With this declaration, her arms are within the air.

“Mother,” Marin interjects. “How about we get a pleasant coat, after which no matter you put on beneath it may be much less… nun-ish.”

Ever the mediator, my Marin.

My mother eyes me over the lingerie she’s holding. I don’t even wish to know if she’s that for her or me.

“So, what’s the plan? Are you simply going to go in there, weapons blazing, with some cleavage and leap on the bar licking your lips or what?” she asks.

I roll my eyes. “What sort of plan is that, Mother? No, I’m simply going to stroll in and say hello. After which I’ll see what occurs. There’s an excellent likelihood he’s relationship somebody. Hell, I’d stroll in and discover him making out with one other girl on the bar.” My abdomen twists on the visible.

“Why don’t you simply name him and discover out?” she asks.

Like I haven’t considered that each single day since I flew from there.

“And say what? Hey Ethan, I can’t cease desirous about you though I ran away from you, and you continue to stay in Maine?” I shake my head. “No, I’ll rooster out. I simply must go see for myself after which determine it out. Perhaps I’ll see him, and he received’t be as engaging as he was six months in the past. Like possibly I used to be in such a distinct headspace that it’ll all be… uglier. Like desperation made me do it.”

Lie.

My mother and Marin alternate a glance as they ship me again into the dressing room, arms stuffed with the whole lot that isn’t a turtleneck.

***

I’m on my second day of freaking out, however there’s no backing out. I’m going to do that scary factor even when I piss my pants within the course of. I cycle by one million alternative ways how strolling into Ethan’s restaurant unannounced would possibly backfire on me. Him being married is absolutely the worst-case state of affairs, I resolve, however him kissing a lady at a darkish, quiet desk rivals it.

What if he’s not even there? Do I drive to his home? God is aware of what I’d discover there.

No.

I’ll present up, he’s going to be casually working as he at all times is, and I’m merely going to say howdy, and I shouldn’t have left the way in which I did.

I can try this.

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