“Appears to be like prefer it.”

The one place to go is in.

Forty-two

In the course of the houseboat in damp garments, I’m terrified. It’s smaller than earlier than, just like the rain is making it shrink, and shortly, there gained’t be sufficient oxygen for each of us.

Because the drops pelt on the steel partitions, its rhythm races that of my pulse. I don’t have to ask what’s about to occur. I already know.

Regardless of all of the methods my physique is begging for this man to make it really feel good, I’m frozen. I haven’t had intercourse in eighteen months, and all of the sudden, I’m each extremely conscious of this and very self-conscious.

Ethan is an ideal specimen, and I’m simply… not. For 20 years, the one man who’s seen me bare is Travis. By the point he died, we have been removed from the nervous children we have been once we met. He knew my physique higher than I did. He watched me stretch and soften with being pregnant and age, but all the time appeared to know what I wanted with out me ever utilizing phrases to say it. We match like a favourite pair of light blue denims.

The wild anticipation that drove us once we have been youthful had been changed by a snug longing after years of apply. And whereas I anticipated that to be boring after I had imagined rising outdated with somebody, it wasn’t. It was a well-recognized type of pleasure.

Right here, on this room, I’m an inexperienced child another time. Solely this time, I’m forty-one and hyperaware of the traces which have been drawn on me with a paintbrush wielded by the palms of time.

I watch his chest rise and fall along with his breath as he closes the area between us with a small step. We aren’t touching, however it’s the one factor I can take into consideration. His palms on me. My mouth on him.

“I… I haven’t achieved this shortly and…” My voice is a trembling mess. “I is perhaps, you understand, unhealthy, or one thing.” I pull on the hem of my shirt.

He lifts my chin along with his knuckles, his beautiful eyes assembly mine. “You could possibly by no means be unhealthy, Nel,” he says, barely above a whisper.

Then his eyes drop to my mouth and my lips half like an unstated invitation.

That’s all it takes. He is aware of. He presses his mouth in opposition to mine in a kiss that steals away what little breath I’ve left. Each swipe of his tongue appears like water in my lungs, drowning me slowly into the whole thing of him.

Coronary heart be damned, I would like this greater than I have to stroll away from him unscathed.

The softness of our kiss turns to a frantic fury of tangled tongues and nipping tooth. His hand fists my hair, and the best way he tugs it, simply sufficient to let me know he has me, makes the blood in my veins flip sizzling.

We knock into the desk and a chair falls as we stumble previous. Once I giggle into his mouth, it’s just for him to steal it with one other deep, hungry kiss.

Arms overhead, my shirt is off. Fingers at my waist, my denims drop.

A path of what we’re doing covers the brief distance to the bed room.

“Nel,” he says in opposition to my pores and skin, making my whole-body clench on the tough manner he says my identify. “I’ve needed to do that from the primary night time we met.”

I say one thing, however I’m undecided what. The ache that’s forming in me is the one factor I can deal with.

My bra drops subsequent. Earlier than I may even take into consideration feeling uncomfortable, his palms substitute it whereas his lips, tongue, and tooth by no means cease scraping throughout my pores and skin.

The truth that I’m practically bare, and he’s absolutely clothed is each extraordinarily unfair and undeniably sizzling.

When he gently pulls and pinches my nipple, I whimper. As soon as once more, he’s undoing me with only a contact. As soon as once more, I don’t care. He offers me the whole lot I don’t know to ask for in each manner as his fingers glide throughout my pores and skin.

His hungry mouth replaces his hand, and I run my fingers by way of the thick hair on prime of his head.

“Ethan…” His identify is a breathy beg on my lips as my head drops again. I would like extra. I would like extra.

His palms are in every single place, his mouth is in every single place, and I can really feel how exhausting he’s for me. For us.

He pulls his shirt over his head, and I hint the dusting of hair that covers his broad chest and delicate ripple of abs. Once I get to the bulge in his pants that’s making my complete physique throb, I drag my fingers alongside the define of it.

The guttural moan he offers me from that contact alone appears like a reward throughout each inch of my pores and skin.

His palms grip my ass, lifting me up, and dropping me onto the mattress—there’s an urgency in the best way he strikes. A neediness.

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