After permitting myself one final sniffle, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to compose myself. C’mon, Chae. This wasn’t an important place to have a breakdown.

“Hoo…” I wiped my eyes with my wrist, regardless of it being all bloody. I wager I had a blood-smeared face now. Ugh, I would want to hassle Elena for some skincare after this.

My shoulders slumped as I sat on high of the freezing elf king, not shifting from my spot. Regardless of my crumpled frame of mind I used to be in, I attempted my finest to deal with one thing else. Skincare, bibimbap, that autobiography e-book from the library that I hadn’t completed studying, what else, uh…

My gaze slowly wandered round, earlier than stopping to deal with his peaceable face once more.

“How good…” I muttered, “how good it’s to die with out shedding something.”

I clenched my fists.

For him, dying for his folks was precisely one thing an excellent king would do. One thing he ought to do. So, he died whereas proudly treading the trail he selected himself. He died as somebody he really believed he was, which was an excellent king. By dying, he had achieved his obligation, and thus, dying for this trigger wasn’t a loss for him, and moderately, a achieve.

But when he someway managed to outlive and kill us all, then he would even be enjoying the position of an excellent king who fought bravely to guard his folks, and who led his folks to victory. After which, he would proceed to guide his folks to rebuild their civilization, incomes one other level for the ‘good king’ position.

Both method, irrespective of which aspect gained and which aspect misplaced on this conflict, he would find yourself with happiness and satisfaction for finishing up his chosen life, his chosen id.

Certain, we could have management over his folks now, however it was none of his concern because it was now one other king’s reign. This new downside wasn’t his accountability anymore. He had fulfilled his obligation completely, and in his perspective, he had lived a satisfying life.

… How good.

I bit my lip in frustration, and frowned.

How might my want, one which was so easy in comparison with his grandiose want of ruling over a complete race, be way more painful and sophisticated?

It did not matter if I used to be alive, or if I died, each would suck for me. If I stayed alive, that meant I needed to proceed residing alone, particularly since Eli had forgotten about me now. But when I used to be to die, I have not achieved what I wished but, not even a easy trip with pals. How might even a trip with pals really feel so distant to me?

… Ultimately, irrespective of the result, I’d at all times be on the shedding aspect.

“… I am drained,” I sighed and coated my face with my palm, “however I can not die but… However I am drained.”

“Chaerin! What occurred!?” A well-known, shiny voice snapped me out of my ideas, and I immediately lifted my face to see a tattered blonde common working in the direction of me with fear painted on her face.

“Jeanne?” I muttered weakly.

“Did… Did you reach killing the elf king?” She gasped when her eyes lastly caught onto the factor beneath me, “Chae! Are you okay? The place does it harm? We want medic–“

“No want, Jean-jean,” I smiled sadly and scratched my cheek nervously, “I am fantastic. I am all good.”

“Uncle Erenduill… Is lifeless?”

I held my breath once I noticed Firiell standing beside Jeanne, along with her arms masking her mouth. She had this mixture of shock and disbelief in her eyes. Uh-oh, was this too exhausting on her?

“Yeah, um… You possibly can shut your–“

“He is actually lifeless?” Her voice cracked as she walked nearer to look at the physique beneath me, “that is… Actual, proper?”

I scratched my head, attempting to determine a phrase that was gentle sufficient, however alas, a dying is a dying. There was no approach to sugarcoat it.

“You are proper. He is really lifeless. I may even take out his coronary heart proper now to show it,” I sighed in defeat, “if that is too exhausting for you–“

“So which means… I am free now?” She blinked just a few instances, her doe eyes trying into my lifeless ones.

“Huh? Free?” I blinked again, totally confused. What did that should do along with her king dying? Was she certain to him or one thing? A slave? However I did not see any slave marks or apparel. Psychological abuse? Believable.

“I can go to the village every time I wish to now?” She requested, “does that imply I can even go exterior? And discover? I can put on no matter I would like?”

“Eh? Wait, wait, what? Did Erenduill forbid you to or one thing? Have been you threatened?” I questioned, nonetheless a bit bewildered.

“I… I am undecided myself,” she hesitated, “he did inform me to not do sure issues like coming into the village or going away or consuming and dressing in a sure method, however he wasn’t threatening to kill me or something. And he had his cause, too…”

“He instructed you to? When he has no proper to take action?” Jeanne joined in.

“Ah, no, no. He was my king and my uncle, in spite of everything. It is solely pure for a king to provide instructions, no?” Firiell waved her arms in entrance of her, making a ‘no’ movement, “apart from, he wasn’t explicitly forbidding me. He simply… Instructed me that is how an excellent elf ought to behave.”

“… So like, principally, he was implying that for those who did not observe his ‘recommendations’, you are not an excellent elf?” I stared at her in a deadpan method.

“Um… Y-yes… I perceive the place he was coming from, although. He simply wished what’s finest for his folks,” she fidgeted along with her fingers, “ah! That does not imply I am glad that he died… Or one thing.”

“Ah, sure. Our day by day dose of gaslighting. Mmm, scrumptious,” I sighed sarcastically, “however severely, get these excuses out of your thoughts.”

“I agree with Chaerin. That is simply manipulation. Both method, you are being managed by him,” Jeanne patted her head, “I am so glad you are free now.”

“Not but.” I interrupted.

“Huh?” Firiell regarded up at me in confusion.

“You are not free so long as you retain looking for excuses to justify his actions. He could also be lifeless now, however he nonetheless has affect over you,” I pointed at her, “so snap out of it. You continue to have a protracted life forward of you, do not consider this as a end line. It is your start line.”

“However, I–“

“I do not wanna hear one other phrase justifying his actions. Hear, Firiell. You are going to be a queen quickly. You are going to take his spot,” I defined, “for those who suppose what he did was okay, then are you going to do the identical factor to your folks now? You realize, because you stated it was okay?”

“No! I do not wish to confine my folks… They do not need to be oppress– ah!” She gasped, and checked out me with amazement, “now I see your level!”

“Thank god you are simpler to persuade in comparison with some individuals who have misplaced their thoughts.” I sighed in reduction, but additionally in annoyance once I remembered a few of my pals who acquired caught up in a clearly poisonous relationship.

“It… It’s going to nonetheless take time for me to regulate, I believe… However I actually wish to attempt to grow to be an excellent queen for them.” She sheepishly stated and smiled.

“Good, you may be no matter form of queen you wish to be, no should be so fixated on being good,” I ruffled her hair, “however if you wish to be an excellent queen, then put together to work exhausting for it. We all know you are able to do it.” I grinned on the little woman in entrance of me.

“T-thank you! Sure, I’ll work exhausting!” She excitedly exclaimed.

“Properly, for now,” I grabbed her hand and handed her the dagger that Erenduill used to slash me, “let’s begin off by having you fish out your uncle’s coronary heart, lets?”

“Huh?”

“Go on. I will be right here watching you. Do not be shy.” I patted her again and moved away from the frozen physique.

“EHHH!?”

“Chae? What are you doing?” Jeanne requested me with a shocked gasp, however she did not appear to disagree, both.

“She’s going to be a queen of your complete elf race. What do you suppose will occur if their queen cannot even kill? Reasonably, this is not even killing. He is already lifeless and he or she simply must retrieve the guts.” I positioned a hand on high of the frozen king’s chest.

… Chilly. And but, he regarded snug.

‘Pang!’

“There, I’ve thawed the ice for you.” I crouched beside the lifeless king’s chest, and checked out Firiell, who nonetheless stood there like a stone.

“I– I’ve to… Minimize uncle’s chest open?” She hesitated and trembled a bit, however I might nonetheless see the willpower on her face.

“Sure. And do each step by your self. Open his shirt, slice his chest, seize his coronary heart, and take it out, all by your self,” I stated as I stared proper into her eyes, “and keep in mind what a lifeless individual’s physique seems like.”

She clutched the dagger, and stepped ahead with newfound confidence. She knelt in entrance of me, on the opposite aspect of the lifeless elf king, as her grip grew to become tighter the extra she trembled. Actually, it was a bit pitiful and on the similar time, encouraging to see her attempting so exhausting.

‘STAB!’

Ah, as I noticed Erenduill’s blood slowly drained out of his physique, slightly thought crossed my thoughts.

The identical purple blood that I discovered so lovely final time, did not look as lovely now… I assume intent did play a giant half in clouding our judgment. Certainly I would not see an individual killing one other individual as a wonderful factor, however then, I simply did, in the direction of myself.

… Yeah, I wasn’t very totally different from them, in spite of everything. From different people.

We frequently choose folks by their actions, and but, we choose ourselves by our intention.

What irony.