Dependence and Degradation

No lights have been switched on and the curtains have been drawn.

The deep blue night time sky was mirrored within the clear window, and the moonlight got here in, filling the room with brightness.

The one issues that have been clearly discernible have been each’s faces because the melodious notes jumped within the darkness.

“Zhize, inform me, what are you anxious about?”

“I am unable to say.”

“Work, life, or love?”

“It is messy.”

“How messy?”

“Every time I shut my eyes, all of them soar out at me. Purpose goes out the window and I begin getting complications.”

“What are they?”

“Grim faces of ache, hisses of despair, seems to be of disappointment, vicious curses.”

“Why are these there?”

“If I follow the regulation, I have to discard part of morality… The regulation has no mercy.”

“That’s true, and you’ve got performed effectively.”

“The regulation just isn’t forgiving.” Yi Zhize regarded blankly out of the window into the night time: “Generally I’m wondering if I’ve fully misplaced my ethical floor. As soon as, on New 12 months’s Eve, I watched as they pinned a father to the dinner desk and handcuffed him. His youngsters blinked innocently and requested me, ‘What has Dad performed fallacious’ and ‘Are you able to let him go? Can we speak about any misunderstandings tomorrow?’ How can I say that this father is the important thing to me successful this case and that I personally urged the arrest on New 12 months’s Eve?”

“You are simply defending equity and the regulation.”

“There was a earlier consumer who was an excellent scholar, like a sister. She was tricked into taking over an enormous debt that I might have helped her with, however simply as I arrived, she tried to kill herself.” Yi Zhize’s voice started to tremble, “I nonetheless keep in mind the final look she gave me, it was clearly full of regret and reluctance, clearly full of pleas for assist. However I could not assist her, and she or he died.”

“You probably did all you could possibly.”

“And far, a lot, rather more… I even really feel like I’ve blood on my fingers.”

“Zhize, why do you wish to be a lawyer?”

Yi Zhize paused for an extended second: “It is my dream.”

“A dream, is not it a stupendous factor?”

“Sure.”

“I feel you are loads just like the courtroom.”

“What?”

“The silver scales.”

Yi Zhize was guided out of his tedious damaging nervousness, “Scales?”

“En,” Ou Tingyun defined with nice persistence, “making an attempt to keep up the steadiness between regulation and morality, cloaked in a world of evil and mundane wishes. Are you aware what it symbolises?”

“Divine and inviolable justice and equity.”

“Some might imagine that the steadiness is wavering and indecisive, however I don’t suppose so. It’s merely the method essential for the scales to suppose and choose.” Ou Tingyun whispered, “Your nervousness is a product of this course of. There isn’t a have to keep away from it, it’ll transfer from confusion to firmness, will it not?”

“Hmm.”

“The silver is your armour, the load is your sword, the courtroom is your battlefield.”

“I don’t have to be anxious, I simply have to practise.” Yi Zhize’s eager eyes have been mounted on him, “Thanks, Professor.”

“You are welcome, however subsequent time, you may name me…”

“Thanks, Instructor.”

“You are welcome, Zhize.”

“It is late, I…”

“In the event you do not thoughts, it would not be a foul concept to remain in a single day.”

Yi Zhize pursed his lips nervously, “No want.”

“As you may see, my house is massive, with loads of rooms, good web pace, is comfy and nice, and most crucially,” Ou Tingyun smiled at him, “I may even hypnotise you if you want.”

Yi Zhize checked out him calmly, “Why?”

“You’re my affected person.”

“You’ve got many sufferers.”

“I’m your instructor.”

“I’m not your scholar.”

“Zhize, are you continue to anxious now?”

“No.”

“You’ve got made me anxious.”

Yi Zhize laughed and mentioned, “What ought to I do then? Can a instructor deal with himself?”

“That will not work.” Ou Tingyun defined, “You’re my lawyer, so naturally I deal with you in another way. If I get to know you effectively, I can use you without spending a dime later.”

“Okay.”

“You’ve got agreed to remain?”

“No.” Yi Zhize mentioned, “Subsequent time, I am going to carry a change of garments.”

“Is Mr. Yi treating my home like a sanatorium?”

“En.”

Ou Tingyun’s eyes brightened, “Okay, you are at all times welcome.”

———

It was about ten o’clock at night time when he obtained again to his home.

The discuss remedy with Ou Tingyun had labored effectively and he was now virtually free of tension.

Regardless that he was nonetheless outwardly an iceberg magnificence, he was in a contented temper on the within.

A letter was slipped into the potted plant on the entrance to the home.

Yi Zhize picked up the yellow envelope, on which his identify was written in crimson marker.

Who might or not it’s?

Opening the door and taking off his jacket, Yi Zhize first poured himself a glass of water.

Holding the glass of water, he went to the couch and tore open the letter, which contained {a photograph}.

The picture was a road view of town, and on the again was a line that learn:

[September 29, 2002, Lijing Road]

A extreme headache exploded and Yi Zhize’s hand holding the picture trembled barely.

One thing referred to as out to him, however nothing got here to thoughts.

He restrained the bodily ache and thoroughly went to establish the placement on the picture.

It was positively not A Metropolis. He had by no means seen a spot like this in A Metropolis.

What had occurred on September 29, 2002?

Why had somebody despatched this to him?

The nervousness that Ou Tingyun had simply completed de-escalating for him got here again with a thousand-fold surge.

Yi Zhize hurriedly obtained up, knocking over the glass of water in his hand, the droplets soaking into the {photograph} as if it have been raining on the road inside.

September 29, 2002, wet night time, Lijing Street.

Yi Zhize felt breathless, and he unbuttoned his shirt, however it did nothing in any respect.

He put the {photograph} in a drawer in his examine and tried to not recall any details about it.

After showering, he lay down on his mattress, took the tablets on his bedside and swallowed a number of of them.

Below the impact of the drug, he fell asleep.

He had a dream.

Within the dream, he was a toddler.

It was a stormy night time and the following day was his birthday.

His mom was holding his hand, holding an umbrella with him as they strolled down the road.

“Lijing Street! There is a cake store right here, it is scrumptious!”

“Ze Ze is such slightly glutton.”

“Nevertheless it’s actually good, I like walnut muffins the very best.”

A number of cyan flashes of lightning reduce by the night time and there was an explosive increase within the ears.

The sound of emergency brakes resounded by the air, alongside icy rain, screams and panicked cries for assist.

Blood, blood, in all places…

Yi Zhize awoke with a jolt, tears having lengthy since moist the pillow.

He touched the wetness on his face and silently pulled a tissue and wiped away as a lot of it as he might.

When he closed his eyes, his thoughts was full of an infinite cycle of damaged fragments.

Cannot recall, cannot keep in mind.

Solely the bone-chilling ache that ripped by his coronary heart.

What to do?

What can I do?

Assist me.

Who can save me?

Yi Zhize touched the spot the place his coronary heart was beating and thought, ‘Why do not I simply die?’

His ideas have been scattered, one second considering of his childhood experiences, the following considering of the file for tomorrow’s courtroom session.

One second it was a chaotic and distorted scene, the following it was the sky he had seen within the library at college.

No, he nonetheless could not die.

It wasn’t time but.

He took out his telephone, woke up the display and dialled a sequence of numbers.

The clock learn 1:20 AM.

He did not anticipate it to be answered.

After solely three chilly beeps, a lazy voice got here by: “Mr. Yi? It is the nighttime.”

On the sound of his voice, Yi Zhize’s throat tightened for no obvious motive.

Ou Tingyun mentioned to him, “We’ve not seen one another for a number of hours and also you miss me already? Hmm?”

Yi Zhize restrained the torment of his headache and the surge of feelings and mentioned, “Instructor, I am sorry to disturb you so late.”

“I’ve already been woken up by you, so should you ask me, you would possibly as effectively simply stick with me.”

Yi Zhize took a deep breath: “I am in a horrible state, please assist me.”

Within the silence of the night time, his tone was as flat because it could possibly be: “Instructor, please.”