“Um…” Rainey begins, “do you could have any membership soda? I can attempt getting the stain out of the carpet.”

I peek below the desk to evaluate the harm. Yikes, it’s fairly dangerous.

“I’ll get it,” I provide.

“Nonsense!” my mother shouts. “We’re not going to let slightly spilled wine smash our vacation. Eat.”

My eighty-seven-year-old nonna begins cackling and factors to Drew. “I’d slightly watch him eat me.”

As quickly because the phrases go away her mouth, 5 issues occur in fast succession.

Drew’s mouth falls open in shock.

My mom gasps and makes the signal of the cross. “Mio Dio, Mamma! You may’t say issues like that!”

Brody repeatedly bangs his head on the desk muttering, “Kill me now, God. Please, simply kill me now.”

My dad shakes his head, shrugs, then continues shoveling meals into his mouth.

Rainey and I simply sit there and giggle.

After a number of beats, Drew shakes himself out of a stupor and whispers to me, “Did I simply get propositioned by an aged lady?”

“Yep, you positive did.” I wink. “The older she will get, the much less fucks she offers about issues like being correct. I kinda wanna be her once I develop up.”

He returns my wink. “I feel you’re off to a fantastic begin, honey.”

CHAPTER FOUR

CHRISTMAS EVE

BRODY

After the dinner from hell, all of us congregated to the lounge for dessert and presents. Jesus, holidays with my household are at all times loopy as a result of my household is, properly, loopy, however this yr takes the motherfucking cake. It’s dangerous sufficient that I’ve to look at my sister hit on my greatest pal all evening, however now my grandma is hitting on him too? My left eye received’t cease twitching and I’m fairly positive I’ll by no means have a boner once more.

“B.J., right here, this one’s for you,” my mother says as she fingers me a gift.

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