Katie raises her eyebrows. “Difficult how?”

I sigh and scan the pond, watching folks play frisbee on the far facet within the grass. “He’s my coworker. We work on the identical agency. We’re each legal professionals. His dad owns the place. He runs it now as a result of his dad is not ready and our relationship may jeopardize each our careers, our reputations, to not point out the agency’s repute.”

Irrespective of how I take a look at the state of affairs, each consequence looks like some sort of catastrophe.

Katie clearly would not see issues the identical manner. “So what? You are each adults. You are each single. Different folks must thoughts their very own enterprise.”

That is not the way in which any of this works. “It is not that straightforward, Katie. It is by no means that straightforward. There are penalties to every little thing, and I do not wish to threat dropping him or my job or my self-respect.”

“I do know,” she says, a false smile on her lips as she watches folks go about their strolls within the sunshine. “It’s not truthful, is it?”

Nope.

“You shouldn’t let worry maintain you again. If you get one likelihood at life, do not do issues that you will remorse.” I do know she’s proper, however the factor she would not appear to see is that I am unsure which resolution will result in the least remorse. I’m going to have regrets it doesn’t matter what I do.

“Are you settling in properly to your new workplace?” I ask, needing to vary the topic away from myself in Clifton.

Her animated expression tells me every little thing I must know. I am so happy with her for her promotion to move of her division. She’s labored laborious for years, and she or he lastly bought the place she wished to be. I’m so blissful for her.

“It’s superb! I’ve a view of the town and every little thing!” She flashes me a sideways look. “My provide so that you can come work with me nonetheless stands, simply so you realize.”

I am grateful as at all times for the provide, and this time I contemplate it.

It is not that I do not love my job. I do, and I like the agency that I work at. But when I left the agency, Clifton and I would not have to fret about workplace politics. We may cease hiding our relationship and would not face any potential backlash. We’d be free to be ourselves and collectively.

However once more, that leaves me questioning which resolution I might remorse extra, giving up my job working on the place I like or giving up the person I’m falling for. I’ve been dropping sleep over this battle.

Is being with Clifton with out worries really value giving up my beloved job?

Chapter Twenty-five

Clifton

The physician would possibly as properly have reached into my chest and pulled out my still-beating coronary heart; that may be kinder than the information he simply gave me.

Disbelief floods me and the load of the information makes my legs buckle. I drop into the seat at my father’s bedside as phrases burst out of me.

“How was this missed?” How may they’ve made such a doubtlessly deadly error?

However the physician appears to don’t have any solutions, and I think about that’s to guard himself and the hospital from a lawsuit. I look down into my father’s pale face, wishing I’d have recognized, that I may have executed one thing. The refined rise and fall of his chest is little consolation as I take his hand and wrap my fingers round his.

As numbness wells up in me, changing each feeling and thought, I attempt to keep current.

“I’m so sorry,” the physician says earlier than making a hasty exit from the room.

Sorry. They’re sorry.

I can not imagine that is occurring. I might are available in to see my dad at the moment, so filled with hope and pleasure to see his progress. As an alternative, I realized that he is dying. Someway an an infection turned to sepsis with out anybody noticing. And now his very blood is poisoning him.

What else did the physician say? One thing about how they’re doing every little thing they’ll, nevertheless it would not look good and as soon as once more, I want to organize for the worst. The phrases do not matter, solely the way in which I really feel proper now does.

I am afraid. I am afraid that I will lose my father so quickly after we might lastly made peace. I’d stupidly thought we had been protected and that issues had been getting higher. And by all accounts, they’d gave the impression to be.

Placing my different hand over my face, I slowly let my arm droop, dragging my fingers downward as I roll my eyes towards the ceiling, making an attempt to determine what to do now.

A bubble of ache pops inside me and the sudden agony of figuring out my dad is dying and I can’t do something for him turns to poison inside me. I’m going to look at him die, helplessly standing at his facet whereas he faces the combat of his life.

My dad is the one household I’ve left. As soon as he’s gone, I am alone on the planet.

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