“What?” I ask.

“Nicely, when you actually really feel the best way you do about Blake, then why are you letting him go so simply?”

My mouth flops open. “I’m not. He’s the one who stated he can’t be with me.”

“That’s not true. From what you’ve instructed us, he simply stated he couldn’t keep in Hallmark Seashore.”

I tug on the belt on my gown. “Type of the identical factor.” As a result of he is aware of I’d by no means go away.

“Kels is true,” Elisse prods. “Blake clearly has emotions for you too, however he is aware of he’s leaving like he did earlier than. Solely this time, it appears he’s bought his head on straight and refuses to be somebody who leads you on.”

“All proper, I modified my thoughts about him.” April sighs dreamily. “He would make a great e book boyfriend.”

The others chortle, however my insides are roiling. Am I so used to being left that I simply permit it to occur? Why don’t I struggle again? Why don’t I ever go after what I need?

Perhaps as a result of I’ve by no means been given the selection earlier than. Perhaps as a result of I don’t even know what I need—or I’m too afraid to confess it.

The concept has me severely feeling nauseous.

Or, ugh. Perhaps that’s the meals in spite of everything.

twenty-one

BLAKE

One other spout of creativity took maintain Monday morning—proper after my small quiet moments with Lucy—and since then, I’ve lived, breathed, and (not) slept all issues grilled cheese sandwiches.

I push a hand by way of my hair and stoop in opposition to the again wall of my meals truck, my eyes working to remain open whereas a remaining sandwich cooks on the grill high. The final three days—no less than, I believe it’s been three days—have had my creativity in hyperdrive, and I’ve produced 5 new recipes which have gone on the menu.

5 new recipes I’m satisfied will encourage rave opinions from critics as soon as I implement them on the new restaurant.

A pang hits me within the temple, and I attain as much as rub the spot. I actually need to go dwelling tonight at a good hour as an alternative of staying up till two a.m. experimenting on this tiny kitchen. I’ll solely be thirty, however I’ve been abusing my physique this week, spending hours of additional time on my ft, tensing with anticipation once I style a sandwich that isn’t fairly proper.

I’ve additionally been holding myself in place as an alternative of working subsequent door to the Robin and feeding the experiment to Lucy so she will help diagnose what’s mistaken with it.

Reaching for my spatula, I flip the sandwich, let it prepare dinner a bit longer, then place it within the ready basket crammed with chips and a pickle. I flip, ding the bell, and name out “Painter!” earlier than ducking again contained in the truck. I begin to shutter the window.

“Hey, Blake,” a voice calls out.

Ducking down, I discover Thomas there, accumulating the sandwich. We haven’t chatted for some time, besides over textual content messages to go over a couple of particulars of the upcoming pageant—which, imagine it or not, is in two weeks from yesterday. “Hey, Thomas,” I say, making an attempt to carry again a fierce yawn that’s itching to overhaul me. “How’s it going, man? You grabbing Chad’s meals for him?” The proprietor of Rainbow Ice was my final buyer, however I don’t see him wherever.

“I’m good, and yeah, I used to be sitting at one of many tables whereas he waited for his order, however one thing got here up inside. He requested me to seize this for him.” Thomas shifts his sandwich basket from hand at hand, as if it’s too sizzling to deal with. The underside of his vibrant blue Hawaiian shirt blows with a gust of wind that’s picked up. “I really was ready so that you can end up so we may chat. Do you’ve gotten a minute? I’ll run this again to Chad after which…?”

The man’s now shifting his weight from one foot to the opposite, and his regular genial smile isn’t current. My eyebrows go up. “Every part okay? My permits are nonetheless good by way of the top of the summer season, proper?”

Not that I do know I’ll be right here that lengthy. Dale and I haven’t talked since final Friday and no selections have been made, however his phrases about coming dwelling early nonetheless reverberate in my thoughts.

“Oh, yeah, nothing like that.” Thomas waits, eyes vast. “So…?”

“Positive. Let me shut issues down right here, and I’ll meet you on the Rainbow Ice tables in a couple of.”

“Nice.” Turning like he’s a soldier on a mission, the man virtually sprints away.

I shake my head and end decreasing the window shade, then flip off the range and begin to tidy up. My telephone rings, and it’s like Dale’s heard my ideas as a result of his title seems on the display. I hit speakerphone so I can hold working whereas I chat. “Blake right here.”

“Blake, good, glad I caught you.” Dale appears like he simply hiked Mount Olympus. “Are you sitting down?”

“Ought to I be?” My abdomen twists. Is one thing mistaken with the restaurant deal?

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