I’m so typically reminded of that egg timer, its sand frozen as a substitute of falling, after I go away for Cornwall.

Jack hurries me by Paddington Station to catch the Penzance practice, brisk and environment friendly, which shouldn’t be a shock after the final week. I’m nonetheless caught off guard by how easy he makes my departure, no element forgotten, which is sweet as a result of I’m a wreck, not even a ball of twine in my pocket to carry me collectively.

I observe Jack, half conscious that he carves a transparent path for me, a pint-sized powerhouse of cheery orders who yodels, “Thoughts your backs, gents,” and “Coming by, girls,” as if getting me on this practice is what he’s paid for.

He’s much less brisk whereas settling me right into a carriage the place he provides me a first-class ticket. “With love from Rex.” I additionally sense the hand of the duke when certainly one of Jack’s lands on my shoulder and squeezes. “Don’t hesitate in case you want something, Stef. You attain out, sure? To me, or on to the Heligans.”

I nod, however the one name I wish to make is to Marc. I’ll have to attend for him to name me as a substitute, like we agreed outdoors a hospital room the place, just like the sand in that egg timer I image, he’s in suspended animation till Noah recovers. Then we have to anticipate his future to be settled by businesses his stab wound has triggered. It might be months, with no assure of a cheerful ending.

“Right here.” Jack presents me a swimsuit service. “I had this laundered, all spic and span in your subsequent marriage ceremony.”

“Wedding ceremony?” Right here’s one other signal of time standing nonetheless—for the final week, Love-Land Weddings hasn’t existed. This reminder makes some sand spill, actual life restarting. Petals additionally fall from what else he fingers me.

“The dry cleaner discovered this in your jacket pocket. Wasn’t positive in case you wished to maintain it.”

Jack should say goodbye to me.

The practice should go away London.

I can solely give attention to a buttonhole that’s misplaced its color.

A day later, it sits subsequent to my laptop computer whereas Marc fills my display, trying light as properly till he tells me, “Noah had an excellent day.” He brightens then, and that’s a lesson in being grateful for every second regardless of our distance. I flip the actual model of that egg timer over as he perks up and talks my ear off. He finishes with a quiet, “Love you, Stef.”

Jess lifts her head once I say, “Love you, too,” to an empty kitchen, and time stops once more after he hangs up.

Or it might cease if I wasn’t a person alone mission, and that’s what clicked into place on my journey again to Cornwall—a mission to get them each dwelling and preserve them. As a result of I can’t have one with out the opposite, can I? I wouldn’t wish to, not now I’ve seen them collectively for an entire week, and that’s how they should keep for a lot longer.

I’ve a plan of how you can do it, one which hangs within the air too, solely not like grains of sand. This can be a sword ready to fall. Or a knife that would pierce extra individuals than Noah if I can’t make it occur, so I cellphone the financial institution, chasing my mortgage choice regardless that I can’t get previous their pc to speak to an precise human. It doesn’t cease me from attempting—that’s solely what Marc’s taught me by pushing himself to make the life he wished as a substitute of accepting the one he’d been born into.

I preserve engaged on getting them dwelling the subsequent morning when the sound of an engine wakes me earlier than cows or sheep get an opportunity to. I don’t slowly roll away from bed to see who has come to go to. I suppose who it will likely be, throwing again my bedcovers and sprinting, and possibly I ought to be careful for slippery Farmers Weeklies, or placed on some garments earlier than throwing open the farmhouse door, however Hayden doesn’t complain about me being practically bare at daybreak o’clock in my farmyard.

If something, he rolls his eyes at my naked chest and boxers, reminding me of my brother. He additionally does one thing else Lukas would do if he have been right here as a substitute of residing a tough dream in London that I’m so fucking pleased with.

Hayden pokes me within the abdomen. “No marvel I didn’t get a glance in with Marc. You’ve received abs for bloody miles, don’t you?” He huffs out a breath, aiming for annoyance. His grin makes him a liar. “Plus you’ve all this gorgeous land and also you bake the very best scones in Cornwall. I by no means stood an opportunity, did I?”

I can take his teasing when he accepts my hand and shakes it. He additionally accepts my thanks for serving to John whereas I used to be away.

“It was no trouble preserving this place ticking over.” He gestures at his truck and trailer. “Sorry for the early wake-up although, and for leaving the tent up this lengthy. I didn’t get round to taking it down. I don’t know the place the time went.”

I do.

I knew as quickly as I received dwelling.

Whereas time’s stood nonetheless for me in London, Hayden’s been busy doing greater than preserving this place ticking over. He’s began the second minimize and made good headway, an enormous job I do know doesn’t occur by magic. It takes ten-hour days that break lesser males, or at the least ones whose weak hearts are hidden. Hayden’s should be large and wholesome, he’s given me such a head begin.

That leaves me gruffer. “The tent is why I wished to catch you.” I flip to the headland, sea mist protecting it with gauzy tendrils. This morning, my plan feels virtually as wispy. “I…”

Jess stops my hesitation by padding out from her spot by the range to lick Hayden’s hand, an indication of belief that makes me take a danger. I grasp that imaginary blade hanging over my head, hoping it received’t go away me bleeding. “I have to ask you for another favour.”

I inform him why, and Hayden listens, and even when an entire metropolis filled with knives hung over my head for actual, he received’t be the rationale I’m minimize to ribbons. Hayden says, “Depend me in,” and nothing sharp falls.

Extra sand scatters as a substitute, flowing even sooner.

* * *

I ask a second favour on the finish of a busy week of baling, happening to the Anchor in Porthperrin to do it, solely this time I don’t sit within the cosy bar consuming five-star seafood. I stand beside a sink within the pub kitchen whereas Jude scrapes the beards from mussels.

I take out my multi-tool, serving to a chef who shares a Michelin star together with his husband however who additionally makes time to hear. Then I meet Carl Lawson on his trawler, not for a favour like I simply requested of Jude—I solely have one query for him—however I’m glad these PT workout routines have made a distinction when he helps me aboard—his handshake is crushing.

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