After which Jet with these obscure, alarming hints of his former life that make me wonder if they actually imply what I believe they imply or if it’s my thoughts that’s twisted.
Joel has to find out about this, proper? About what Jet informed me—about operating, concerning the obscure hints of hazard, concerning the shrink and the capsules. Ought to I name him once more? Ought to I name Jet?
Annoyed, I boot my laptop up and open my story recordsdata. I stare on the phrases, on the strangers making out on the display.
I’ve unread messages from Connie. Feedback upon feedback from the readers. I’ve an unfinished scene and…
I can’t.
I chunk again a sob. Why can’t I write extra? I really like this story. Readers find it irresistible, too. I made associates over the posting of the chapters. I laughed and cried as I received it down. And what if my boys don’t find out about it?
This story is my secret. My one secret from them, my fantasy.
Nevertheless it’s turning bitter anyway as a result of I can’t. Can’t write. They aren’t like I imagined them.
And so they don’t find out about it, which makes it really feel as if I’m… abusing them by some means. Forcing them into doing stuff they don’t like doing.
Would they do extra? Would they go down on one another? Have intercourse with one another? They by no means contact a lot throughout intercourse with me.
They aren’t as I imagined them, and I don’t care about my silly story anymore if I will be with them, discovering new issues about them on daily basis, touching them, and pleasuring them, and residing with them.
I don’t wish to write that story, as a result of I’m going to inform them about it, after which I’ll delete it perpetually.
In reality, I’ll delete it, interval. I’m sorry for the readers who invested a lot time in it, who cherished my imaginary boys, nevertheless it’s not honest.
Nothing is as I assumed it was. Each boys are so completely different from the lads I painted them to be in my story it’s not even humorous. With each revelation, each tiny tidbit I study them, the tables are turned, my notion of them is modified.
How Joel hesitated to the touch Jet, how he vanished as we speak. How Jet will get after these telephone calls and the speak about shrinks and capsules.
But in addition the great sides. Jet’s creative nature, Joel’s mental one and his superior cooking abilities, his protectiveness of Jet.
Because it seems, they don’t give a rattling about tantric intercourse. They need it tough, fast, sluggish, laborious, in each method.
I by no means thought they’d kiss so in a different way, or they’d want various things in intercourse, although—like how Jet is extra passionate, Joel extra aggressive and controlling, how Jet likes to play with my ass and Joel is extra of a titty-pussy man.
And all these ideas are making my face heat and my coronary heart race, my pulse beat between my legs.
My boys aren’t imaginary anymore. They’re actual, and I’m in massive, massive hassle…
Chapter Twenty Six
JOEL
“The world,” my father says, “is filled with wicked males. Welfare instances, socialists, faggots. Joel would by no means grow to be certainly one of them. He’s my son.”
You’d assume that after preventing with paperwork all day at work and feeling paranoid concerning the covert appears to be like and giggles I obtain from some folks, I wouldn’t have time or power left to fret about different stuff.
Like Sweet. Like Jet.
Like kissing him, getting us off collectively after which operating.
However I do. Fear, that’s. Or possibly I simply want time to assume. To course of this. Course of the actual fact I kissed a man for the primary time in my life and appreciated it.
His style… not like something I’ve ever tasted. Sturdy. Salty. Spicy. Undoubtedly male.
100% Jet.
I appreciated it method an excessive amount of, and that’s scary shit.
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