Embrace and Covet

Ou Tingyun was keenly conscious of his abnormalities: “What’s incorrect?”

Yi Zhize stood nonetheless, his thoughts uncontrollably flooded with many, many photographs.

———

“Ze Ze, did you have got an excellent lesson immediately?”

“Sure, the trainer praised me and gave me a bit crimson flower!”

“That is nice, let’s go and purchase walnut truffles to eat immediately, okay?”

“Okay!!!”

———

“Zhize?” Ou Tingyun was involved, ” Are you not feeling properly?”

Yi Zhize closed his eyes and took just a few deep breaths, “I am wonderful, I am just a bit drained.”

“Simply that?”

“En.”

“Okay, then after dinner, go house early and relaxation.”

“En.”

As they moved alongside Lijing Highway, the surroundings round them grew to become increasingly more acquainted and Yi Zhize started to interrupt into a chilly sweat.

Passing a college, Ou Tingyun launched it, “Look, Zhize, that is Nineteenth Excessive Faculty, my highschool alma mater.”

Yi Zhize’s reminiscence had drifted again to a sure afternoon twenty years in the past, and what he noticed was his mom’s mild face.

———

“Mother, what are they studying? It is so stunning.”

“An previous poem: Pink beans develop within the south, a number of branches sprout in spring. Might you choose them extra typically, that is the factor you miss most.”

“Are crimson beans candy?”

“Nicely, that is the style of longing.”

———

Yi Zhize stopped: “Sorry, I am going again to the lodge.”

“Zhize, you have not eaten dinner but.”

“Not hungry.”

“That is no good, that you must replenish your energy after all of the strolling you have completed this afternoon.”

“No urge for food.”

“Then let’s return and order takeaway,” Ou Tingyun mentioned, “and you may lie down and relaxation. When the takeaway arrives, I am going to wake you as much as eat with me.”

Yi Zhize acted as if he hadn’t heard him in any respect and simply walked again together with his head in his arms.

It was as if… he was working away.

Ou Tingyun stood behind him, watching his distant again with a sullen gaze.

All of a sudden, a person in a hoodie got here out from across the nook and ran into Yi Zhize, rudely and aggressively.

Ou Tingyun walked shortly to Yi Zhize’s facet and requested, “Are you alright?”

Yi Zhize shook his head.

The person, in a rush, shortly dived into the alleyway forward and instantly disappeared

Ou Tingyun seen that there was a white envelope at Yi Zhize’s toes, “Zhize, I do not assume that is yours, is it?”

Yi Zhize bit his decrease lip firmly, and the underside of his eyes have been as deep as a darkish pool.

“Did he drop it?” Ou Tingyun picked up the envelope, and on the plain white cowl, there have been three massive letters written in crimson ink. It was Yi Zhize’s identify.

Looking at his identify, Yi Zhize’s Adam’s apple rolled.

“Zhize, have you ever offended somebody not too long ago?” Ou Tingyun recalled the assault on the legislation agency final time: “Might or not it’s one other case of malicious revenge from one other social gathering?”

“I do not know.” Making an attempt his finest to maintain his tone calm, Yi Zhize blandly mentioned, “It is already the third letter.”

“Simply go straight to the police.” Ou Tingyun mentioned, “This factor is bodily proof.”

Yi Zhize whispered, “Open it.”

“You need me to open it?”

“Mmm.”

Tearing open the envelope, Ou Tingyun pulled out a yellowing newspaper from inside.

Not a full newspaper, to be exact, however a small piece that had been reduce out, printed on which was an obituary that learn:

[The whole school is deeply shocked and saddened by the death of Xie Qingmeng, a teacher at our city’s Nineteenth High School. We extend our deepest condolences to the family…]

Yi Zhize solely felt the blood throughout his physique go chilly, and the autumn breeze brushed by, like razor blades slicing into his coronary heart.

Ou Tingyun instantly stuffed the newspaper again into the envelope: “There’s nothing to see.”

“Xie Qingmeng,” Yi Zhize checked out him and mentioned, phrase for phrase, “is my mom.”

Ou Tingyun folded up the envelope and put it in his coat pocket, watching Yi Zhize’s temper fastidiously.

Yi Zhize’s expression was detached, in no way overly reactive, however he simply appeared extra silent and introspective than standard.

Again on the lodge, Yi Zhize went straight to his room.

Ou Tingyun intentionally left a niche for him to digest his feelings alone, completed his dinner within the restaurant on the bottom flooring, packed one portion and introduced it again to him.

It was properly into the night time and solely a dim gentle was on within the room.

Ou Tingyun positioned the dinner on the desk and referred to as softly, “Zhize? Are you there?”

There was no reply.

The one gentle supply that was on, on the writing desk subsequent to him, had a word positioned below it.

[You rest first, no need to wait for me.]

———

Yi Zhize purchased just a few bottles of wine from the comfort retailer downstairs, after which took the elevator to the highest flooring of the constructing.

The rooftop was abandoned and the night time breeze was chilly.

Leaning on the sting of the guardrail, he seemed down from the thirty second flooring to the dazzling lights that have been a mixture of neon and site visitors.

He had lied to Ou Tingyun

He was not unfamiliar with B Metropolis.

This was the place the place he was born.

And he hadn’t lied to Ou Tingyun.

He actually could not bear in mind.

He solely vaguely remembered that he had been born right here, that he had spent the perfect years of his life right here as a toddler…

And all of that had been plunged into everlasting night time the second his mom had died.

He couldn’t drink.

He had tried many instances and had by no means found out why anybody would love the style of wine.

He preferred the style of milk.

And candy juices.

These would give him the phantasm of being caught within the previous days.

Because the wine entered his throat, it immediately stirred up a layer of mist below his eyes.

Consuming a bit too shortly, he choked and Yi Zhize arched his again, coughing softly.

“You clearly do not know drink, but you are still making an attempt to be a hero.” Ou Tingyun discovered this place and took the bottle from him, “Share some with me?”

Yi Zhize stubbornly snatched it again, “No.”

“How petty.” Ou Tingyun leaned in opposition to the railing, “It is no enjoyable to drink alone, shall I chat with you?”

“No want.”

“Zhize, do you want B Metropolis?”

“No.”

“I do not prefer it both.” Ou Tingyun mentioned, “However I used to be born right here, and there are recollections of my childhood right here. All of the cities on the earth are boring in themselves, nothing greater than issues constructed of metal and concrete. The that means of it lies within the individuals who spend time there collectively.”

Yi Zhize didn’t reply.

Ou Tingyun mentioned, “Time is essentially the most meaningless measure in relation to emotional expertise. Some moments are lengthy and fleeting, others are fleeting and lengthy. Whereas wallowing can by no means free us, sometimes, we will indulge.”

When the wine was completed, Yi Zhize dropped the bottle at his toes.

Ou Tingyun leaned in shut and whispered in his ear, “Occasional indulgence isn’t degradation; an inexpensive catharsis will as an alternative make you harder. You are repressing your self, aren’t you, Zhize?”

Yi Zhize’s Adam’s apple bobbed as Ou Tingyun stared at him, their breaths intertwined.

“I am your therapist, somebody you may belief.” Ou Tingyun’s voice was mild, “With me, you aren’t certain by standing, there isn’t any judgement of proper or incorrect, you might be simply you, utterly and completely you.”

Ou Tingyun gently put his arm round his shoulders, “It is okay to pour it out or be silent. Zhize, really feel your feelings. Channel it, do not suppress it. Vent it, do not repress it. I’ll hold you completely protected, on no matter degree.” 

Yi Zhize’s breath was barely chaotic.

His face rested on the facet of Ou Tingyun’s neck.

There was neither a rejection nor a response to the embrace.

Ou Tingyun comforted his affected person with nice persistence.

There was a wetness on the nape of his neck

It was his silent tears.