”Do you hear me?”

Simeon lastly spoke up after an extended second of silence.

“Mail… When’s the reservation time?”

“I don’t know, possibly tonight….”

I intentionally blurted out the final half. A traditional Simeon would have seen proper by way of the lie. However apparently he doesn’t have that luxurious now, and I can’t assist however chuckle as he turns to face the bodyguard behind him.

I quit. That one phrase is sufficient…. Nonetheless you received’t let me go.

“Don’t attempt something, it received’t work.”

The black eyes turned again to me. Lips parted to say one thing, however solely a shaky breath escaped. Betrayal and resentment mingled in my sigh. I wished them to hate me for what I did.

”If the mail goes out as scheduled, my throat will begin to tighten, and I’ll do something loopy to flee the ache, as a result of even when I don’t die, I nonetheless have survival instincts.”

Let’s push it, so he can’t consider something apart from the choice of giving me up.

“I’ll tear my nails attempting to tear the leash off… Perhaps I’ll flip over and get pulled out, and within the meantime, all of the blood in my neck will burst from the thorns, and I’ll be all over… similar to now.”

Simeon’s eyes fluttered as he roughly wiped the blood from his cheek with the again of his hand.

“You don’t have to provide me a transfusion, I’m not going to die anyway.”

He ought to have minimize him off, as soon as and for all.

“And don’t even take into consideration therapeutic me, it received’t cease the crown’s powers, so that you’re simply prolonging my struggling… Properly, it is likely to be ugly for me to see the bones uncovered.”

After a breakup, there’ll at all times be scars, so why trouble.

“The apostle’s data that you simply so diligently guarded will unfold to the world right away, and I’ll undergo perpetually in return. Consequently, I’ll stay by your facet, however…. Is that actually what you need?”

I thought of what I may do to make this finish rather less painful.

“Are you going to wrap your arms round my barely-boned neck and say good morning?”

There isn’t any such factor as a wonderful breakup. When my mum left me, when my dad had an accident, after I left the cathedral behind, Heo-sang and nursery faculty, I felt the ache of separation time and again, vowing by no means to make anybody essential once more.

“Now, select.”

So earlier than your regrets get any deeper, it is advisable to finish this relationship that has nothing however unhappy endings.

“Will you watch me undergo to the tip? Or… will you let me go?”

I checked out his pale, exhausted face and anticipated victory. However I used to be not within the least happy. It was the extreme self-loathing that gripped my coronary heart.

I tapped into his trauma to get the reply I wished. I intentionally jumped into the ocean in entrance of him. I reenacted his best fears in entrance of him. And I threatened him together with his best worry: my demise.

He’s uninterested in me doing no matter it takes to get what he desires. I really feel like I’m changing into a monster.

No, possibly I used to be already a monster from the second I used to be given an immortal physique.

There was silence for some time; he and I locked eyes and mentioned nothing. Solely the sound of ferocious waves pierced the heavy silence. Not figuring out what he was pondering, he saved his mouth firmly shut.

He was about to talk once more when his dry lips parted.

“…Shin Hajae-ssi… I’ll do as you say, so… go forward and delete the mail.”

His voice was dry and uninteresting. I may sense worry and impatience.

“Are you that afraid of Apostle’s data leaking out?”

His face contorted right into a grimace as he thought of the response.

“Now, I…… Do I appear to be I’m afraid of that?”

No, it appears to be like such as you’re afraid of dropping me. Even figuring out that, I requested. I wished to remind you that you possibly can by no means win me. Why, they are saying that in relationships the one who loves extra loses, and I’m so glad.

For love makes a idiot of a person, and I may by no means love you adequate.

“I’ll cancel after I get residence safely.”

“…Sure.”

”However I’m going to schedule the identical e-mail each morning and cancel it that evening.”

“Sure…”

Simeon nodded his head like a machine. The sesame seeds drooped helplessly within the snow. However there was no use in wavering now. I clasped my trembling palms collectively in a last try and strengthen my resolve, and mentioned, as if in a whisper.

“By no means once more, don’t seem earlier than me.”

Simeon closed his eyes tightly and muttered.

“…I promise.”

The second I heard these phrases, I felt an indescribable rush of emotion.

I don’t must surprise why he’s attempting to carry on to me. I don’t must learn into each smile he provides me. Now not at his mercy. The shackles are nonetheless round my neck, however they received’t catch the fowl that has flown away.

Alas, the cage door is lastly open.

It’s liberation. Freedom within the truest sense of the phrase. The guilt will quickly oxidize and disappear.

However why is that this……….

…….

…………..

…………………

“Shin Hajae-ssi!”

The horizon tilts. No, it’s my physique that’s tilting, and within the blink of a watch, I collapse onto the damp sand. I wished to stroll out with dignity, at the very least on the finish, however as a substitute I’ve ended up embarrassing myself.

“Raphael. Sor….”

I ought to apologies to Rafael, however I can’t even discover my voice anymore.

Shua-

The sound of waves past distant consciousness

Shua-

The wave crashes towards the cliff. The damaged wave disappears and not using a hint, leaving solely a white spray. I feel it’s wonderful that I do know my physique is destined to be damaged, however I’m nonetheless operating with all my may from far-off. Perhaps that’s why I really feel the identical manner every time I see the ocean.

After I wakened, I used to be in a automobile.

The particular person behind the wheel is a bodyguard. I regarded to the facet, however fortuitously there was nobody there. As typical, he didn’t say something to me; he simply drove me residence and disappeared. I stare behind the automobile because it drives off into the gap.

The shadow of the previous that has been following me for years is lastly gone. I’ve lastly returned to my each day routine. However as a substitute of being elated, I really feel hole, as if my chest has been punctured. What is that this vacancy? I didn’t need to know, so I turned my eyes away from my coronary heart. I cancelled the emails I had scheduled. Any longer, I’ll dwell within the current, not the previous.

“Pay the hire this month… restore the air conditioner….”

I walked up the steps, ticking off every activity as I went. It had solely been vacant for a number of days, and there have been a bunch of flyers caught to the entrance door. As I ripped them off, I out of the blue observed the watch on my wrist.

Simeon had given it to me earlier than I fell into the cliff. The face was cracked the place I’d hit it, however the watch itself was intact. I regarded carefully by way of the damaged glass and noticed the numbers.

[00:00:00]

I ought to have stopped as quickly as I got here out of the gate, however I used to be nonetheless unconscious and had forgotten in regards to the timer. I puzzled if I ought to restore it and provides it again, however then I laughed.

”We’ll most likely by no means see one another once more.”

I shortly untied my watch and shoved it roughly into my coat pocket, then walked into the home.

It’s a small studio with solely the naked requirements. It didn’t odor of human habitation in any respect, because it hadn’t been cooked, washed, and slept in time and again. Despite the fact that the home windows had been tightly closed, there was a chilly feeling in the home. I had lived in the home for years, however it nonetheless felt unusual.

“It’s like another person’s home….”

My dad could be upset if he knew I used to be dwelling like this…. All of the sudden, the thought revitalised me.

I’ll begin cooking once more, which I’ve stopped doing for some time. Perhaps rising vegetation will assist change the dreary ambiance. I’ll additionally do away with the issues I’ve been storing away for worry of being confronted with recollections.

I rolled up my sleeves and set to work on my overdue chores. I put the pile of laundry within the wash, left the home windows vast open, and cleaned the home. I even pushed the bottles of cures I’d been purposely storing within the nook of my room out to the entrance door to throw away. Oddly sufficient, tidying up the home appeared to calm me down. Sure. I can do that. It’s about letting go and beginning over.

I picked up the garbage bin with a way of reduction. It’s prefer it’s all in my head. As I flip the bin over and pour the garbage into the bag, a small piece of paper falls to the ground. I bend down to select it up, however then I see the phrases on the word.

[Dearly Beloved]

I stiffened as quickly as I noticed the acquainted handwriting.

“……Oh.”

The trembling that started at my fingertips shortly unfold to my total physique. The guts that binds the thoughts from overflowing collapses right away. The flimsy dam collapses on the slightest breeze of a letter. As I sat on the ground, tears burst out as if I had been ready for them.