She slapped her hand over her mouth. Love you. Love you? The place had that come from? Had she actually simply mentioned that? And did she even imply it?

She let her hand drop, surprised.

Sure, she did. She cherished Oliver.

Not as a pal. As one thing a lot extra.

Her respiration felt shallow and unsteady. For years, she’d been ready for a love like her mother and father’ to come back alongside and on a regular basis love had been proper underneath her nostril and she or he hadn’t acknowledged it. She’d been ready for one thing totally different. Searching for one thing totally different. And she or he’d missed the actual factor.

Oliver.

She considered the way in which he made her giggle, and the way he stayed up late listening to her if she was upset even when he needed to rise up early the subsequent morning,

After which she considered how her life could be if she discovered a small condominium of her personal as her mom had recommended. No extra lengthy lazy evenings sprawled within the backyard sharing a bottle of wine, surrounded by the candy scent of grass and the hum of bees. No extra waking within the morning to discover a mug of tea by her mattress the place he’d left it earlier than going to work. No extra arguing about who was cooking dinner, and who was selecting what they have been watching on TV.

A life with out Oliver can be like a pizza with no cheese. A swimming pool with no water. It might all the time really feel as if one thing essential was lacking.

She felt a tiny buzzing in her mind and a swelling in her chest after which an explosion of one thing that might have been panic.

She’d all the time thought it was friendship. However now she knew it was a lot greater than that. It was love.

She was so centered on her stunning discovery that it took her a minute to understand he was silent.

“I meant that I like you as a pal, clearly.” She croaked out the phrases, tried to inject some laughter, hoping that she hadn’t ruined every thing, and was relieved when he responded.

“Certain.” His voice sounded unusual. “I do know what you meant.”

She’d freaked him out. And it wasn’t stunning. She was freaked out too.

Oliver. All this time.

He cleared his throat. “Would you like me to come back, Cass? I can fly out when you want me.”

Her insides warmed. She wanted him badly, and he was providing to come back so why not?

She opened her mouth to say, Sure, I want you, after which she heard a sound within the background.

“Is somebody there? Do you’ve got firm?”

There was a pause. “Suzy,” he mentioned. “Suzy came to visit.”

Suzy. Suzy with the hair like silk and ideal tooth.

If her coronary heart had felt bruised earlier than, it was crushed now.

What was she going to do? What was going to occur when she was again dwelling? She and Oliver shared a home. They ate meals collectively, went for drinks collectively. He’d be with Suzy and she or he’d must smile when she ran into Suzy within the toilet within the mornings, and say good morning in a cheery voice, and never thoughts when she dried her skimpy underwear on the washing line within the backyard.

“Hey, Cass?” Oliver’s voice got here down the telephone. “You continue to there?”

“Sure.” Her voice was a croak. “Nonetheless right here.”

“And sounding bizarre. Did you swallow a bee?”

“No.”

“You’ve taken to smoking fifty a day?”

“Nonetheless no.”

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