There’s a purpose we all the time pulled again collectively, and I feel it could be love.
I half my lips, about to say it again, earlier than I can get to the L phrase, there’s one thing else I have to get out. This won’t be the proper second, however on the identical time, I don’t know what else I’m purported to do. I’m in a nook now, and I’ve to be truthful about the whole lot.
Even when it’s onerous, and I haven’t fairly wrapped my head across the information myself.
“Alex, truly, earlier than we speak about the rest, there’s one thing that I wish to inform you.” I watch his face fall as I suck in a deep breath, making an attempt to regular myself. I wasnotready for this dialog as we speak. If I’d recognized that Alex was coming, I might have spent a while making an attempt to plan an eloquent solution to say all of this. However I don’t have time for that now, I simply have to get it out within the open. “I haven’t been effectively since I’ve been right here, and I believed it was simply because of the stress of the whole lot that we’ve been by way of.”
“Comprehensible,” Alex replies raspily, the colour draining from his cheeks. It hits me that hisI love youis nonetheless hanging within the air, which is clearly making him anxious. I want to hurry issues alongside slightly so he is aware of what’s going on.
“Effectively, I ended up going to the physician as a result of it received a lot worse.” There’s no want to say the scene the place my mom needed to mainly drag me alongside to the physician’s workplace. “And he discovered what’s fallacious with me.” I chew down anxiously on my backside lip. My coronary heart is totally pounding in opposition to my rib cage so violently I don’t know the right way to deal with it. “He discovered that I’m…” My hand flutters right down to my stomach, nevertheless it doesn’t seem like something is clicking in Alex’s mind. I actually am going to need to say it. “I’m pregnant. We’re having a child.”
His eyes widen with shock. It positively takes him a few moments to drink this in, which I definitely can’t be mad about. I imply, I don’t know if I’m adjusted but. It truly is a heavy load to tackle board.
I solely want I may calm myself down. My entire physique looks like I’m freaking out. I can’t catch my breath, and I can hardly hear something over the thundering of my coronary heart beat. I don’t understand how for much longer I can take his silence. My head is beginning to ache with fear. If he walks out on me now, there’s nothing I’ll be capable of do. I imply, I get it. Clearly. This wasn’t precisely in our plan, and it isn’t like we’ve been collectively for very lengthy. Plus, it’s been a very dramatic time. Our courting life to date hasn’t precisely been enjoyable and thrilling. After we’re alone, it looks like we’re within the honeymoon interval. However as quickly as the remainder of the world will get in the best way, that every one crumbles and falls aside.
If he doesn’t need this, then there’s nothing that I can do. I will probably be alone, making life-changing selections all on my own. That’s completely terrifying.
“Wow,” Alex ultimately gasps, as quickly as he’s capable of get phrases out. “Actually? You’re having a child? That’s…”
“Weare having a child,” I remind him, simply in case I didn’t make it clear that he’s the daddy. I believed that might be clear since I’ve solely been with him within the final… Effectively, in the previous few months. “If that’s what you need, I imply.”
He swallows onerous.
Now I’m beginning to see how onerous it was for Alex to attend for a solution after he mentioned he loves me. I nonetheless haven’t given him a solution for that, however I don’t assume that is the time.
“I do know that is loopy.” I’ve to fill the silence one way or the other. “I wasn’t anticipating it, and I’m certain this has come as a shock to you as effectively. In case you want a while…”
Impulsively, he shakes his head and takes a step nearer to me. He opens his arms huge and invitations me in for a hug. I don’t fall in opposition to him once more simply but. I have to know what he’s going to say subsequent first. It’s like I’m frozen to the spot.
“Riley, I do know that is surprising,” he lastly tells me. “However truly, that is actually excellent news. Like I mentioned, I like you. I’ve fallen in love with you. Nobody has ever made me really feel the best way that you just do. I don’t need something greater than to be with you without end. Perhaps we weren’t anticipating to start out a household now, however that doesn’t imply we shouldn’t.”
“Actually?” I cock my head to 1 facet curiously. “You aren’t freaking out?”
“Perhaps slightly bit… on the within,” he says with fun, which catches me off guard. I discover myself laughing as effectively. “However I feel that that is one thing we are able to do collectively.”
I blow out a breath of reduction. “Actually? You wish to do that?”
Earlier than he hugs me, he frowns thoughtfully. “Effectively, I imply, that’s in the event you do too. I don’t understand how set you’re on being in Chilly Springs, however my entire life is in New York Metropolis. Though itwouldbe nice to go away all that behind, and simply keep right here proper now, particularly with all the problems occurring round us. In order that’s one thing we have to take into account as effectively.”
I see what he means, and it makes my coronary heart sink.
If Alex and I like each other, and we wish to be collectively as a household to make this work, then we’ll need to withstand all the problems that I ran away from. My job, the media, the trolls, town… Can I do it?
“I need you to come back and stay with me,” Alex declares as he takes my hand in his. He strokes my arms, reminding me that I’m not alone in any of this. He’s with me. As onerous because it’s been, he has all the time been there for me. “I don’t wish to go away you by yourself anymore, dealing with folks following you and sending you bizarre stuff. I need you to come back to my condominium the place I’ve nice safety. And I’ll improve that as effectively. I’ll get the perfect cameras attainable. I’ll be sure there are alarms, no matter you want. You received’t want to fret anymore.”
I smile thinly at him. I actually do wish to stay with Alex and see how this could work out. I actually assume that Alex and I’ve one thing particular and that we may go the entire approach, given half the possibility.
I simply have to work out if this can be a danger I’m prepared to take.
“Alex, I like you too,” I say. I didn’t understand how badly I actually wanted to get these phrases out. I want him to understand how I really feel. I don’t need him to have it hanging within the air any longer. “I actually do. And I wish to make this work. I’m simply scared.”
He rests his brow in opposition to mine, staring lovingly into my eyes. It’s really easy to neglect about the remainder of the world after we’re looking at each other like this. Alex on this approach, I can envision us actually having fun with a fortunately ever after. A household, extra children, a wedding, love… actual love not like something we now have ever had earlier than.
It may all be so stunning, if we let it.
“I’m scared, Alex,” I confess. I don’t understand how a lot clearer I could make this. “However I do actually wish to be with you. I do wish to do that. So yeah, I feel I can nearly address going again to town.”
His face breaks out into the widest grin I’ve ever seen. “Riley, I’ll be sure that the whole lot is okay. I promise you. I do know it isn’t going to be the best factor so that you can do, I do know it’s been a troublesome time. However I do assume it’ll be price it. I swear, I’ll do no matter it takes.”
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