This time, I don’t let myself wallow in distress over Benedict. I shove him into the darkest nook of my thoughts, buried subsequent to my mom and others who’ve harm me or my household. He’ll keep locked away for good.

Round 5 p.m., Bodhi texts inviting me to dinner. Excited on the prospect of lastly assembly his youngsters, I settle for instantly. However as he pulls up in his Porsche thirty minutes later, I notice with sinking disappointment that it’s simply the 2 of us.

“Thought you had the children tonight?” I ask, securing my seatbelt.

“I do, however it’s their grandfather’s birthday. Miriam took them to have fun along with her mother and father,” he explains casually.

I’ve by no means been divorced myself, however this appears… odd. “You two appear to have a really, very pleasant relationship.”

He shrugs. “What’s the choice to getting alongside?”

“I assume you’re proper,” I murmur, leaning again in my seat. I attempt convincing myself this isn’t an enormous deal—he by no means truly promised I’d meet his youngsters tonight. However resentment nonetheless prickles underneath my pores and skin.

I’m my very own worst enemy, setting expectations and giving endlessly simply to be disenchanted. Effectively, it’s principally love, and the one recipient is Benedict. For years I surrendered myself to him, hoping that he’d fall for me. Like a film, I recall each single second when he didn’t do what I had hoped.

Like my highschool commencement. He got here with my household, and whereas everybody hugged me and congratulated me, he simply mentioned, “You two did nice.” Not simply me, but in addition Huxley. By then, he knew how a lot I hated it when folks lumped us into only one particular person. I really like my twin, however some folks assume we operate as one—we don’t.

Each Christmas, we exchanged presents, and I foolishly hoped he would lastly take a look at me and say, “I really like you, Cordelia.” Nope. He by no means did. There’s the time when the complete household gifted me the inn—he provided to companion with me. We started to work on it, however then let it fall into despair, fractured like my coronary heart and our relationship.

“Cory? You continue to with me?” Bodhi’s voice snaps me from my spiraling ideas.

I refocus, smoothing my expression. “Sorry, you had been saying about divorce…”

“Proper,” he continues, eyes on the highway. “Some folks go to extremes to forestall their ex from being completely satisfied. It wasn’t simple at first,” he admits after a pause, fingers tightening on the wheel. “However we agreed to co-parent peacefully for the children’ sake. They nonetheless dwell in our household dwelling full-time. Miriam and I simply commerce off staying there each different month.”

I arch an eyebrow. “Are you telling me that you just two nonetheless dwell collectively?”

“I wouldn’t phrase it that manner,” he says, a bit defensively.

“However you’ve the identical tackle. Even should you’re not there on the similar time, you continue to dwell collectively,” I level out, suspicion creeping into my tone. Gatsby’s warning echoes in my thoughts at how little I really find out about Bodhi. “Do you ever share the identical roof?”

After a prolonged pause, Bodhi lastly concedes, “We do spend Christmas in the identical home—for the sake of the youngsters. There’s additionally the odd day when Story is having a tough time.”

I cross my arms. “So, no matter occurred to her boss? The one she was in love with.”

Bodhi clears his throat, staring fixedly forward on the highway. “As I discussed, issues weren’t that straightforward at first. I’m not happy with my actions again then.”

“What did you do?” I press, imagining the worst.

My thoughts spirals with the worst potentialities. My very own mom killed my father after they couldn’t agree on divorce phrases. For all I do know, Bodhi employed a hitman to eliminate Miriam’s lover. I scan the highway forward, plotting my escape in case he decides I’m subsequent.

“Oh, I simply added a clause that neither of us can remarry till Tallulah turns eighteen. Neither certainly one of us can introduce them to a love curiosity, until it’s critical,” he explains casually. Glancing over, he’s grinning with sheer satisfaction, like he simply obtained the most effective blow job ever.

His phrases sink in slowly. “So, neither certainly one of you will get married within the subsequent twelve years or so, huh?”

He nods and grins smugly. “Yeah.”

“You do perceive that this impacts you too,” I level out.

“I don’t care.” He shrugs. “I’m not planning greater than… this.” His eyes flick to me briefly. “A enjoyable relationship with a fantastic lady.”

“Enjoyable,” I echo dully. “You by no means need marriage once more. Simply enjoyable.”

I sound a bit off. It’s not like I anticipated a proposal tonight, however we clearly need various things. We’ve already peaked. Any additional progress is off the desk.

“This… us, the place do you see us in 5 years?” The query escapes earlier than I can cease it. I have to know if I’m losing my time on a dead-end right here.

Round me, my household and mates are settling down, constructing futures with their spouses or in Hux’s case, his fiancée. And me? I preserve attempting to interchange Benedict with carbon copies of him—emotionally unavailable males who won’t ever give me what I really need or want.

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