“I’m sorry for it, Callie – you have to know I’m. I’m sorry that you just had been punished for one thing you didn’t do. However that doesn’t change the stuff you did do.”
“However I didn’t do something flawed.”
“This isn’t the time to debate that. You don’t want to fret about it proper now. I mentioned it wouldn’t occur till you agreed you had been prepared, and I stand by that, so you may put that out of your thoughts. Let’s simply get via the following few days, okay?”
I used to be nonetheless reeling inside, however I knew he was proper. I wasn’t positive what would occur when he ultimately realised I used to be by no means going to simply accept his punishment, however we may cross that bridge after we bought to it.
“High quality.”
“Good. Now, I belief that you just’ve taken care of your leg, so I received’t make you present me. However the first signal that something… something in any respect is perhaps flawed, you inform me – understood?”
“Sure.” It nonetheless felt odd not including Grasp.
Ray reached throughout the desk for my palms and sighed.
“We’ll work this out, Callie; we are going to.”
“Don’t you ever suppose that typically… an excessive amount of has occurred? Don’t you ever really feel like giving up?”
Ray shook his head. “No. By no means,” he mentioned, smiling at me. “I do know this may work. I do know you are feeling the identical approach about me as I do about you, even when that’s onerous to imagine proper now. I believe the purpose we bought to earlier than I left was a reminder for each of us of how good we may be collectively.”
No matter else could possibly be mentioned about Ray, he was unfailingly optimistic, and I might all the time envy that about him. And I knew it was true that he cherished me. And he was proper that I cherished him, regardless of the whole lot. I in all probability all the time would. However I nonetheless knew we couldn’t keep collectively.
Turning my consideration again to the current second, I wished to maintain the peace as finest I may. We each wanted to seek out some semblance of normality in our lives till I discovered a approach out.
“Can I’ve a drink please?” My feelings had been too tumultuous for me to be anyplace close to sleep, and I felt like some mud nonetheless wanted to settle earlier than we parted for the evening.
“After all, what would you want?”
“Wine, please.”
Ray regarded delighted to have the ability to do one thing for me. He poured us each massive glasses and we managed civil dialog for some time earlier than I requested if I may go upstairs to mattress.
22
Hours later, I nonetheless wasn’t asleep, and my room was beginning to really feel intensely claustrophobic. Ray’s phrases performed again and again in my head. I used to be sure it was over… I can’t really feel that ache once more… it’s solely pure that you just’d be drawn to one another. It was the primary time I’d been capable of actually see Ray as a standard individual – not a Grasp or a captor or a manipulator – simply somebody who’d fallen in love and had their coronary heart damaged. He’d damage me, however I knew what it was love to do loopy issues for love, and I used to be struggling to carry that in opposition to him. I noticed once more the look of disappointment on his face, when nothing he’d purchased for me had appeared to cheer me up, and determined that the next day I might make up for it.
With sleep nonetheless feeling miles away, I made a decision to go and skim my e book on the couch, simply to alleviate the boredom of tossing and turning, however after I bought there it appeared Ray had had the identical concept. I wasn’t positive if he’d be offended – there wasn’t a selected rule about roaming the home at evening, but it surely felt like extra freedom than he may need been keen to allow. However when he smiled up at me, it was with a weary gladness that I knew I used to be reflecting again at him.
“Can’t sleep, toddler?”
“No. You?”
Ray shook his head and gestured to the spot subsequent to him on the couch. I went to take a seat beside him. When there’s just one individual in your life, typically they need to be each your affliction and your consolation.
“Have been you right here all this time?”
“I knew I wouldn’t sleep.”
“Drink not working?”
“Not this time.”
I reached over and squeezed his hand. Previously, I might have anticipated conversations just like the one we’d had earlier to make him offended, however he hadn’t damage me, hadn’t raised his voice, hadn’t even despatched me away from him. And now, as a substitute of hurling extra accusations at me, or demanding something from me, he’d chosen to take a seat alone to try to soothe himself, letting me relaxation. He wasn’t offended this time; he was hurting.
“I perceive why you felt the best way you probably did.” I couldn’t inform him I forgave him, however I hoped this was the following smartest thing.
“You don’t need to make excuses for me.”
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