I don’t need to do that. I don’t need to do that.
“Hey.” Rachel grabs my hand, pulling me to a cease simply earlier than we attain the sliding doorways.
I can’t take a look at her, so I maintain my eyes on the bottom as she steps into my house and softly says, “I do know you don’t need to be right here, and I perceive why. But when your dad actually is dying, you’ll remorse it eternally in case you don’t say goodbye. Belief me on this…” Her voice begins to quiver. “Not saying goodbye is the worst.”
Her eyes are glassy, and I calmly brush my fingers down her cheek, feeling her ache as if it’s my very own. She by no means bought to say goodbye to her dad. By the sounds of it, he was a great, type man, not a drunken asshole like mine, and I’m positive she nonetheless misses him. When my dad goes, I received’t miss him in any respect. It’ll be a aid.
However is she proper?
Will I remorse it if I don’t a minimum of say goodbye?
My insides clench, rebelling in opposition to the thought, however I nod tightly. I pressure my toes to stroll by that hospital door and take the elevator to the fourth flooring.
“She’s in all probability overexaggerating.” I’m enjoying this down for causes I don’t even perceive.
Rachel threads her fingers by mine, her smile affected person as we stroll down the hall and discover Dad’s room.
Sofia is hovering within the doorway, maintaining an eye fixed out for me. When she sees me coming, she rushes ahead, burying her face in my chest as she holds me tight. I rub her again, resting my chin on the highest of her head.
“It’s horrible,” she mumbles. “Mama’s a wreck.”
“Yeah, she sounded fairly dangerous on the telephone.” I’m nonetheless pissed off at her, hating how a lot love she has for a person who used to beat her black and blue. I don’t get it. I by no means will.
“We’d higher go in, I assume.” Get this over with.
Sofia pulls out of my arms and blinks. Then a candy smile tugs at her lips. “Are you Rachel?”
“Yeah, hello.” Rachel extends her hand and Sofia takes it, her eyes glowing.
“Wow. You actually are fairly.”
“Oh.” Rachel begins to blush. “Thanks.”
“I’m glad you’re right here.” Sofia appears between me and Ray whereas my girlfriend offers her a significant smile.
“Me too.”
It nonetheless sits ugly in my intestine that she’s gonna be seeing my dad once more. I’ve by no means actually wished to let anybody into that a part of my life. Ethan’s all the time identified, however that’s totally different. We grew up collectively. I wished Nolan U to be untouched by my father’s bullshit. However he’s been to Hockey Home now. He’s tainted the doorway. He had a dialog with my girlfriend. The girl I’m falling in love with. He might have harm her. He might have?—
The curtain swishes apart, and I spot Dad within the mattress.
He appears half his regular measurement, his cheeks sunken in, his pores and skin tinged yellow. My lips half in horror earlier than I blink and pull myself along with a thick swallow. He’s declined a lot since that night time I took his drunk ass dwelling. That was solely a month or so in the past.
“Mijo.” Mama offers me a teary smile, letting go of Dad’s hand and shifting across the mattress. “You got here.” She pulls me down right into a hug, and I pat her again, murmuring mild phrases in Spanish.
She nods and sniffs in opposition to my shoulder, then steps away, wiping her face with a balled-up tissue earlier than placing on a well mannered smile. “And who is that this?”
“Oh, that is Rachel.” I relaxation my hand on Rachel’s decrease again as she smiles at my mom.
“Hola, Mrs. Carlisle.”
“Hola.” Mama appears between us, her lips quirking right into a gentle grin of approval. At the least I believe that’s what that’s.
However then Dad groans from the mattress and her consideration is diverted again to him. She rushes round to his aspect, taking his hand and asking what he wants.
“A brand new physique,” he grumbles.
I stand on the finish of the mattress, staring down at him. “What’s fallacious along with your physique?”
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