I nod once more. I take into consideration something aside from what Clay and Lucca are speaking about. I’ve lived with that loss Lucca speaks of because the day I wakened in Josh’s arms. I misplaced my squad. It was solely Josh and me. It was arduous understanding I wouldn’t see any of their faces once more.

“Hear, I’ve received to examine one thing out, however I’ll meet up with you earlier than you allow.”

Lucca pats Clay’s again and walks towards the constructing. Clay sits again down beside me and takes my hand. The ambiance round us is somber. All of my fallen troopers have been on my thoughts these days, however sitting right here now, it’s the one factor that I can take into consideration.

“I want the lavatory. I’ll simply head into the primary constructing. It received’t have modified a lot since I used to be final right here.” I rise up and regular myself.

“I’ll stroll you over.” Amber stands from behind me. “I’ll take care of her, boss.”

I didn’t even know she was right here. She didn’t come within the automobiles with us. Is all of Shawland Safety scattered round?

“Something out of the abnormal and also you attain us.” Clay holds his earpiece. “The one purpose I’m not marching proper alongside together with your ass is as a result of I belief Amber to handle you.”

I roll my eyes and make my transfer earlier than he modifies his thoughts.

I’m glad to see Clay trusts Amber sufficient to let her include me. I don’t need to go alone, however I additionally don’t want a male escort to alleviate myself.

“How did you get right here?” I ask Amber once we’re far sufficient away from my household.

“I’ve been right here since early doorways. I’ve been keeping track of issues. Proper now, Clay desires everybody in your watch.”

“He’s worse than my dad.”

Amber chuckles. “He loves you. And, from what I do know, Clay doesn’t love simply. Every little thing he does is for a purpose.”

Everybody retains telling me that Clay doesn’t love straightforward, however I haven’t been courageous sufficient to ask Clay what everybody means, as a result of within the military he was there for us all. He was type, caring, and though he by no means mentioned it out loud, he cherished me with the whole lot he had.

“I hate these fucking issues!” I chastise my strolling aids.

“You’re doing properly. Don’t be harsh on your self.”

I can inform Amber is likely one of the Shawlands now; she sounds identical to them. Constructive, constructive, and much more constructive.

We push by way of a double door and go searching us. “Toilet?” Amber asks the receptionist.

“Down the corridor on the suitable.”

We take off within the course we’re given. It’s bizarre as a result of I’ve been right here so many instances, however proper now, I really feel like a stranger. I at all times anticipated to really feel like that outdoors of the military, however to this point, at Clay’s home, it feels regular. Right here, however, looks like I’m in unusual territory.

“I don’t care! Simply make the whole lot go in accordance with plan! We don’t want any extra dangerous press,” a voice booms from a semi-closed door to our left.

Amber and I pause for a second, however she factors for us to maintain going. A small a part of me desires to attend and listen to what they’re speaking about, however I do know I can’t. I have to get out of right here. Amber factors to the door we’re on the lookout for and we step by way of simply because the door we handed bangs towards the wall. Amber appears to be like out, however I stay out of eyeshot. She shakes her head and joins me.

“God is aware of what that was all about. I’ll wait out right here for you. Will you handle?”

I chuckle. “I feel I can handle to pee.” I stagger into the cubicle and lock the door.

It’s superb how arduous it’s to maneuver once you don’t have your full mobility. I’m glad I managed to maintain my legs. That is killing me. In reality, it’s killing me greater than my accidents ever might. My bodily well being is doing properly. Higher than any of us ever anticipated, nevertheless it’s a pity I can’t say the identical about my psychological well being. There are moments I really feel effective, however there are additionally many moments after I really feel horrible for being alive and properly with my household. Seeing Josh’s mother and pop has solely made me really feel extra guilt.

A bang startles me from someplace within the lavatory. Every little thing turns into nonetheless.

“Amber?” I name out.

Nothing. I hear shuffling on the skin of my door, however I rise up and fidget with my pants. As soon as I’m absolutely clothed and standing, I make my stance sturdy and click on open the door. I do know one thing dangerous is about to occur, I can really feel it in my blood. I have to face no matter is ready for me past this door.

“Amber?”

Why isn’t she answering me?

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