“Get nicely quickly and don’t fear about work.”

I drag myself into my bed room on a cell phone search. It’s not in my bag or in its typical place on the bedside desk. Rattling. My arms discover my hips as I survey the room. The place the hell did I put it? Drumming my fingers in opposition to my lips, I out of the blue keep in mind that throughout our quick session of acrobatic random intercourse yesterday night my bag flew off the sofa and landed on the ground, spilling a couple of of the contents. I totter again into the lounge the place Jess has made herself at dwelling, ft on espresso desk, laptop computer on her patterned legging-clad thighs. I bend down and he or she lifts her ft up.

“Misplaced one thing?”

“Sure, my cellphone.” I stick my head beneath the couch, and there, amongst my lipstick, two sanitary towels and a packet of chewing gum, my cell phone beams. I scoop all of them up in my arms and get to my ft, panting, hair wild. “What’re you watching?” I sit down closely subsequent to her and swap on my cellphone. Inside seconds it begins bleeping with messages and missed name notifications from Daniel, Nick, Louise, Stacey, Jess, Mum and …Ronan.

“Simply one thing a good friend from Uni despatched me on YouTube. It’s so humorous it is best to…” However I’m not listening to her anymore; all I can hear is the soundtrack of laughter coming from the laptop computer and Ronan’s voice.

“Hello Audrey. Sorry to name so early however, nicely…hope you’re okay, and…er…simply needed to say that after I left yours yesterday I picked

Nick up from Gerry’s and…erm…we had a little bit of a coronary heart to coronary heart within the automotive and…” His voice is heavy, remorseful. “I didn’t realise he was nonetheless in love with you.” I frown, yeah proper. “I assumed you two had been over. I simply noticed that lady getting wearing his room and put two and two collectively. …and oh, Jesus, Audrey, I simply really feel so bloody responsible now.” Responsible? What’s he on about? “I don’t know the way you’re feeling, in all probability the identical.” The identical? “Look, I’d higher go. I’ll attempt you once more later. Bye for now.”

I stuff the cellphone into my dressing robe pocket angrily. Responsible? I can’t imagine he stated that. Is that what I’m? A responsible mistake? Not that I desire a relationship with Ronan or something, however nonetheless. Has he forgotten what Nick and Catherine did to us? I have a look at Jess, chewing the within of my backside lip.

“Had been Nick and Ronan spherical yours final night time?”

“Yeah,” she says, her eyes not leaving the display screen, she’s now taking part in a sport of Phrases with Associates. “Noticed Nick moving into simply as I used to be leaving. Don’t learn about Ronan although, doesn’t he stay in Scotland?”

“Eire,” I say dryly. “Truly, I might homicide a cup of tea, Jess.” She springs to her ft and arms me the laptop computer.

“Two sweeteners, proper?” I nod, inform her they’re within the cupboard subsequent to the hob. “Right here, you’ll be able to surf whereas I make them.” How form of her to permit me to borrow my very own laptop computer.

I sit again and stare at an advert that’s simply popped up on the display screen. Responsible? I shake my head.

As quickly as I signal into Fb the orange icon seems like a beacon within the nook of the web page. It’s from Nick:

Hello Audrey, I do know that you simply gained’t reply to my textual content messages or reply my calls however I want to elucidate what occurred yesterday with Connie. I didn’t sleep along with her. I stored my promise. That day after we had been ready for you outdoors your flat, we obtained speaking. She instructed me she grew up in Crouch Finish and I stated that’s the place I stay, she requested me the place – I instructed her. She then obtained excited and stated a good friend of hers lives on Nelson Highway, what quantity was I? The subsequent factor I knew she was on my doorstep telling me she was simply passing and needed to say ‘whats up’. She virtually pressured herself in for a espresso. Anyway, after I went off to the kitchen to make the drinks she stripped and obtained into my mattress. Then the doorbell rang and you already know the remainder. I knew you’d get the unsuitable thought should you noticed her at mine; that’s why I attempted to cover her. I didn’t bloody know what she was as much as. I used to be simply as shocked as you had been. Nothing occurred, I swear on my mom’s grave. I didn’t have intercourse along with her. I didn’t do ANYTHING along with her. While you left I had a proper go at her and instructed her to do one. Ronan took her dwelling, he’s visiting, lengthy story. Anyway, I simply need you to know I’d by no means do something to harm you once more. Ever. Love. Nick X.

I slam the laptop computer shut, face boiling, as Jess seems with two steaming mugs of tea. I twist my lips thoughtfully. Absolutely, he can’t be telling the reality…can he? Connie. There was a message from Connie on my voicemail. I shortly retrieve her message as Jess whips the laptop computer off me, all of the whereas droning on about how their home has was a bloody resort. Connie’s voice is loud and clear on the voicemail.

“Hello Audrey, it’s me. Clearly, you don’t need to speak or your cellphone’s in your bag, as per. No matter. Anyway, I needed to say that Nick obtained actually narky and went all bizarre on me…” I can hear her taking a protracted drag on a cigarette. “He made me promise to name you and clarify. Effectively, I’m calling however you’re not…” the road goes fuzzy, oh crap, not now, “and I needed to however he didn’t…haha. Is he homosexual or one thing? Look, I don’t know what’s occurring between you two however my dad thinks the world of you so… simply don’t damage him, okay. Oh, and thanks a bunch for spoiling his birthday shock, by the best way, it’s off now. Laters.”

“Shit, fuck. Shit”!”

Jess offers me a curious sideways look, then turns her lips downwards and nods. “Good alternative of expletives.”

“Sorry, Jess.” I take a gulp of tea. The warmth scolds my mouth.

“Hey, take it straightforward, tiger,” she says, the glare of the display screen lighting up her contemporary, easy, rosy-cheeked face. “That’s bloody boiling.”

My arms tremble as I retrieve Daniel’s voicemail.

Audrey, the place the hell are you, for heaven’s sake?” he sighs closely, “I’ve been calling and texting you for the final hour. You have to be dwelling by now.” Extra sighs, “I’m sick with fear.” A heavy pause. “Look, I’m sorry about what occurred at my flat. I actually imply it. We have to speak. I need to clarify. I spoke to Aliki, she instructed me you went spherical. I promise you on Lily’s life, there’s nobody else. However Aliki’s proper. I must let you know all the pieces about my previous. Simply name me. PLEASE. I don’t need to lose you.”

* * *

Later, as I take a bathe, washing away my infidelity, I take into consideration what I’ve achieved. I shouldn’t have had intercourse with Ronan final night time. He’s proper, it was a mistake. We had been drunk. I used to be upset. Daniel had been so harsh with me, mendacity to me, taking part in me. After which there was Nick sleeping with Connie, nicely no less than that’s what I assumed on the time. Oh, hell, it’s all such a multitude.

I flip the bathe off and decrease my dripping physique onto the bathmat, guilt seeping by the pores of my pores and skin, so highly effective, virtually asphyxiating. I dry myself off, the steamed mirror in entrance of me masking my disgrace. I can’t even have a look at myself. It felt all proper after I thought that Nick had slept with Connie, after I thought Daniel had one other lady on the go, a mistress, an ex.

Now I simply really feel like a vindictive cow. I’ve obtained to speak to somebody. My first thought is Louise however I can’t burden her with my issues now, she’s obtained sufficient on her plate, what with Gerry and the adoption and Francesca visiting. And the way will Tina react if I inform her that I shagged her ex-boyfriend final night time? I resolve in a short time that there’s just one particular person that may assist me. One one who gained’t decide me.

31

“Oh, Vicky,” I sob into her crimson cardigan, “what’ve I achieved?” We’re sitting on her worse-for-wear blue cloth three-seater couch, which additionally doubles up as a trampoline for the children.

“Shhhh,” she soothes, stroking my hair, “it’ll be all proper. It was only a buddy-shag, that’s all.”

Supply: www.seynovel.com